Tenacious Brown

 I look at others' eyes and see blue and green.

I look in the mirror and I see brown.

When you have blue or green eyes 

they are described as sky blue, bright blue, emerald green--

beautiful things.

Worse, my brown isn't "golden". 

They don't even have gold flecks.

They are dark brown.

Dark brown eyes don't get beautiful names

I checked.

I got paint chips to compare

Cowboy Boots

Cabin Planks

Dark Earth

Gardner's Soil...

So, dirt

Cool

How about Soul Chocolate, double chocolate,

or roasted coffee?

Soul Chocolate isn't bad, but that color didn't match me.

We finally found a color that camp close--

Autumn Foliage.

Autumn Foliage...

What image does that conjure up?

Look beyond the beautiful reds and oranges that ignite

warmth and joy.

Not the light green of new life or the dark green of

Stability.

Nope, brown. You get brown. 

The brown that missed out on color.

The color that just hangs on. 

Tenacious 

Tenacious Brown

Roots before Branches

 When making a family tree

shouldn't the oldest ancester

be the roots?

Writing is hard

 If I could write a poem today it might be about 

the sunsets over Lake Michigan

or the frost when it hangs heavy on everything

in sight

I might write about how words

tumble and cascade

in my brain.

If I could write a poem today,

I could write about music

how its melody and lyrics

speak to my core.

I could write about 

how the kids at work

drive my crazy.

I could write about the problems of today

or the hopes of tomorrow.

There are so many options

to write about

If I could write a poem today.

How to plan for summer camp

 Phone calls

voice mails

e-mails

intercom page

brochures

flyers

manuals

communication

interview

training

Plan

design

Treasure

 Rock

Stone, Fossil

Colors tumble

end over end over end

Rattle, clatter, splash, and settle

Fingers dig, scratch, comb --wet sand

Finding treasures red, orange, green, blue, brown

Stripes, speckles, sparkles, spirals, spots, and solids

in the frothy, calm, angry, shimmering, multi-colored water

of Lakes Michigan, Erie, Huron is our Disney Land or World

Space

 In the blink of an eye

you started school.

The tornado friendship bracelet

a reminder that "Mommy loves you."

And you were fine. But,

there was a tiny space left

where you used to be. 

In the blink of an eye

I dropped you off at the doors

of the 100 year old 

giant Middle School

with all those big kids.

You disappeared with my heart

in your hands.

And you were fine.

But there was space left

where you used to be. 

In the blink of an eye,

I left you at the High School. 

You got out of the van,

and walked across the parking lot,

backpack slung high 

and trumpet case in hand.

And you didn't look back.

You were fine. 

But the space you left

was a little bigger.

We got you to college 

and set up your room.

You showed no fear--

But, I had enough for both of us.

It felt like leaving you 

at an orphanage. 

But you were fine.

And at home, the space

you left was enormous.

Each time we picked you up

the space filled back in,

but each drop off 

opened space again.

It's been more than a blink, but

Now you drive yourself away.

Once in your car, 

you don't wave,

you don't look back.

You are fine.

And the space you leave

lingers for a while.

But 

I know

you know the way home,

and I know

you'll be fine.

Right now

 I'm an imposter

And everyone knows it.

I'm not half of who I could be,

because I'm afraid of failure. 

If I never finish,

I can't let myself down.

Except not finishing 

is also a fail. 

So, I'm not only an imposter,

I'm a failure too.