It's Weird

 We took Matt back to school today. 

Both boys came home at Thanksgiving and finished their semesters here at home. 

Will got his diploma in the mail last Friday. He graduated Magna Cum Laude. His hard work and dedication to doing his best earned him that distinction. Now he is looking for a job. I'm proud of him and want him to enjoy his independence. But man is it hard to let go. 

Now Will is here and Matt is back at school.

Matt's classes are mostly in person for now. I'm not worried about the virus. I'm not really worried about overall safety. It's just weird, after having him home for the last 8 weeks to think of him not being here. 

It's another shift. Another transition. One more change to get used to. 

 We'll find our way. 

Understanding

     I hear conversations from one staff, relating what other staff have told them. I realize how much I need to do. 

    It's time to refocus.

Next Steps

     Only a couple days in and I've already failed at creating a habit. But I have to get back on the horse at one point or another. 

    I'm slowly finding a way to balance. It's easier to see from a bit of a distance. I've felt for so long that I needed to be part of the day to day of my programs-- every day. If I'm not hands on, the program will fail. It's not that I don't, or can't trust my staff, it's just that I'm not there, if things go wrong, I'm to blame. It's my fault. If I'm there, at least blame is earned. 

    But taking a step back, allowing things to happen with my staff, the same way I do with kids, is the way to grow them as individuals as well. They have to be able to make mistakes. I have to give up control in order to gain perspective. It's amazing to learn that there are so many more paths available when you aren't committed to one specific destination.

    

    

    

Vacation

 It's day 3 of vacation. Day 3 of doing nothing. I'm not ready to go back to work, but I am ready to do something. Tomorrow will be getting ready to get work done on Monday.

And taking down the tree. It's the first time we've left the tree up past New Years Eve. We usually take it down on New Year's Eve, so we start the year off with a clean house. We cleaned, but left the tree up. It comes down tomorrow. 

And this is a lame post, but I'm trying to build a habit. 😀

New Year

 It's the first day of a new year. We woke up to rain, that turned to ice, so we had a nice day of just being lazy. Mark and I almost finished season 5 of White Collar. He made cheese steaks for dinner. We all played Yahtzee and we watched the Princess Bride. 

Being lazy was wonderful.