Tenacious Brown

 I look at others' eyes and see blue and green.

I look in the mirror and I see brown.

When you have blue or green eyes 

they are described as sky blue, bright blue, emerald green--

beautiful things.

Worse, my brown isn't "golden". 

They don't even have gold flecks.

They are dark brown.

Dark brown eyes don't get beautiful names

I checked.

I got paint chips to compare

Cowboy Boots

Cabin Planks

Dark Earth

Gardner's Soil...

So, dirt

Cool

How about Soul Chocolate, double chocolate,

or roasted coffee?

Soul Chocolate isn't bad, but that color didn't match me.

We finally found a color that camp close--

Autumn Foliage.

Autumn Foliage...

What image does that conjure up?

Look beyond the beautiful reds and oranges that ignite

warmth and joy.

Not the light green of new life or the dark green of

Stability.

Nope, brown. You get brown. 

The brown that missed out on color.

The color that just hangs on. 

Tenacious 

Tenacious Brown

Roots before Branches

 When making a family tree

shouldn't the oldest ancester

be the roots?

Writing is hard

 If I could write a poem today it might be about 

the sunsets over Lake Michigan

or the frost when it hangs heavy on everything

in sight

I might write about how words

tumble and cascade

in my brain.

If I could write a poem today,

I could write about music

how its melody and lyrics

speak to my core.

I could write about 

how the kids at work

drive my crazy.

I could write about the problems of today

or the hopes of tomorrow.

There are so many options

to write about

If I could write a poem today.

How to plan for summer camp

 Phone calls

voice mails

e-mails

intercom page

brochures

flyers

manuals

communication

interview

training

Plan

design

Treasure

 Rock

Stone, Fossil

Colors tumble

end over end over end

Rattle, clatter, splash, and settle

Fingers dig, scratch, comb --wet sand

Finding treasures red, orange, green, blue, brown

Stripes, speckles, sparkles, spirals, spots, and solids

in the frothy, calm, angry, shimmering, multi-colored water

of Lakes Michigan, Erie, Huron is our Disney Land or World

Space

 In the blink of an eye

you started school.

The tornado friendship bracelet

a reminder that "Mommy loves you."

And you were fine. But,

there was a tiny space left

where you used to be. 

In the blink of an eye

I dropped you off at the doors

of the 100 year old 

giant Middle School

with all those big kids.

You disappeared with my heart

in your hands.

And you were fine.

But there was space left

where you used to be. 

In the blink of an eye,

I left you at the High School. 

You got out of the van,

and walked across the parking lot,

backpack slung high 

and trumpet case in hand.

And you didn't look back.

You were fine. 

But the space you left

was a little bigger.

We got you to college 

and set up your room.

You showed no fear--

But, I had enough for both of us.

It felt like leaving you 

at an orphanage. 

But you were fine.

And at home, the space

you left was enormous.

Each time we picked you up

the space filled back in,

but each drop off 

opened space again.

It's been more than a blink, but

Now you drive yourself away.

Once in your car, 

you don't wave,

you don't look back.

You are fine.

And the space you leave

lingers for a while.

But 

I know

you know the way home,

and I know

you'll be fine.

Right now

 I'm an imposter

And everyone knows it.

I'm not half of who I could be,

because I'm afraid of failure. 

If I never finish,

I can't let myself down.

Except not finishing 

is also a fail. 

So, I'm not only an imposter,

I'm a failure too. 

Quicksand

 It's so different.

Last year I was drowning. 

No life vest was thrown my way.

In fact my co-workers held me under

water.

This year I'm not drowning.

I'm not swimming,

but I'm not drowning.

More like slogging through quicksand.

The more I flounder

the more I sink.

If I float, I live

but I get nowhere.

So I slog.

Are there any dangerous 

creatures in

Quicksand?

Words

 You can tell when you read a poem today

The poets think they have a role to play

in changing the world. 

Poems used to be about love,

Heaven above

and the loveliness of a tree. 

Today they are about the end...

of today, tomorrow, the world, a friend.

So much sorrow, doom, and despair

Injustice! Screams

Over explaining what a "symbol" means

Because a poet can change the world

With the worst of all weapons -

Words

This town

trapped

boxed

caught

stuck

It's like the whole town

is autistic

it doesn't know how 

to communicate

it's hard to read

I need the cues

I need the flow

of communication.

Not this constant

push and pull

and stop

Count Down

 10. Day starts early. Feet hit the floor. No, not ready. 

09. Shower. Dressed. Keys. Lunch. Car. Podcast loaded. Reverse. Drive.

08. 30 minutes to the off site. Seven kids.

07. Meijer shopping. Then to work. What's next?

06. Return messages. Organize. Plan for afternoon.

05. Kids arrive. Chaos ensues. Tired.

04. Some days are long.

03. Most days are.

02. Finally over.

01. Sleep

Today's Parent

 I told a mom today

her 6 year old

Autistic son said the "F" word.

She asked if he used it

in the proper context.

And all I can say is,

"What the F."

Kids today

 Whining

complaining

talking back

hitting

swearing

constant opposition

And those are the "good" kids

I'm too old for this.

Narcissist

 I read others' poetry,

but it's more of the same.

I read it on Facebook

I see it on Twitter 

and 

Instagram.

People trying 

to put a pretty bow 

on what you should believe.

The faces scream

the words seek to accuse

to ridicule

to blame.

They think they are better

for their lofty opinions

and

seek to elevate themselves

for all the world to see.

But all I can think of 

is Pee Wee Herman...

"I know you are, but what am I?"

Gen X

 I miss the days of being

not caught up in proving.

We were doing

not just saying 

everybody should be doing.

We accepted

ourselves

others

boundaries.

We didn't seek to change the world --

we sought to change ourselves--

our circle.

The ripple starts when the pebble hits

the water.

The ripple radiates out.

A whirlpool starts at the edges

sucks you in

and pulls you under.

I like our way better.

While watching Nashville

 Sounds that set my

nerves on edge--

The sucking sound 

of bare feet on linoleum

Thoop thwap, thoop thwap

The clink of a spoon

stirring a cup of tea.

Clinkety clink

clinkety clink

clink, clink, clink

The clicking clatter

of keyboard keys

ticketa, ticketa, ticketa tick

Solo acts that don't deserve

a label.

Quordle poem

 Covey, Break, Awash, Stalk

The small boys stalk

a covey of seagulls

awash in the afternoon sun.

Soon skinny legs break into a run

and birds scatter like

the breadcrumbs

that attracted their attention

in the first place.

Staff meeting

 How do I convey

My displeasure

at your apathy

resistence

sloth

Without blowing everything up?

Parents

Stop

Stop letting them do whatever they want.

Stop saying yes, because No is more work for you

Stop looking the other way, because addressing the issue takes work

Stop allowing them to be in charge, because you don't want to deal with a fit.

Stop with the screens as babysitters, because you are addicted to your screen.

Grow

the heck

up.

I lived

 This one is a bit of a cheat. I wrote it last year when I was still in Kokomo and hating life. A lot has changed since then. I don't feel this way any more, but I remember being in that moment. This poem reminds me how bad it was. I never want to be there again. 

This inertia that I'm trapped in...

It swallows me whole

Pushing me under

Pulling me down

They say drowning 

is silent.

No thrashing or fight-

Just surrender

I want to live.

Aliens

 11:40

It would only take a moment

I had to pick up my prescription,

get some conditioner and hair ties and

then a handful of groceries.

Easy-peasy

In and out in less than 30 

Right?

Wrong.

Prescription wasn't ready, 

so  I looked at wrist braces

for my carpel tunnel.

Phone buzzed that my prescription was ready.

Back on track.

Got the prescription

Got the conditioner and hair ties 

and headed to the grocery aisle

But first I stopped to use the bathroom.

I parked my cart 

containing conditioner and hair ties.

When I came out

cart, conditioner, and hair ties all

Gone

I started over.

This time keeping my cart.

Butter, check

paper towels check

Hershey Syrup, check...

"Oh yeah, I was going to make

Chocolate cherry pie for staff meeting."

Cherry pie filling, check.

"Why is it always 900 degrees

in this store?"

I tie my sweatshirt around my waist.

Bakers chocolate squares, check

"Ugh, I forgot pie crust!"

 back 4 aisles,

Pie crust, Check.

"Now for heavy cream."

Only heavy cream is the name brand

small, more expensive, name brand. 

"Fine."

Time to find my son Matt,

who tagged along to get some things 

himself.

Not in that aisle. 

Not in that aisle.

Not in that aisle.

There he is.

Toss mushrooms in the cart.

Toss in Asiago cheese, 

(neither of which is on

"the list")

and head for the check out.

Check out lady is on the store phone

waiting on a price check. 

Beep, 

Beep,

Beep,

she scans the other order.

Finally, it is our turn.

Any coupons?

Not this time.

Beep,

Beep,

Beep.

Beep.

Card in

Process as Credit

Here's your receipt.

12:45

"How can it be 12:45? 

I only got a couple of things!"

Aliens, it must be aliens.

Every time I grocery shop

I come out feeling 

like I just spent time

in outer space

abducted by aliens

who dropped me back

dazed, confused, and 

emotionally spent.

"I swear I didn't get that much.

How can it be an hours gone by?"

Aliens.

It's gotta be aliens.

It's like this

 It's like this

I need you to listen.

I need you to watch.

I need you to learn.

Learn the good.

Learn from the bad.

Contribute

Innovate

Move for goodness sake.

Because if you can't...

If you won't...

If you don't......

It's like this

Success

is up to you.