If I'm going to be doing this Blog thing as a regular thing, I probably should have a year end wrap up. So here goes.
I went into 2020 having just gotten the downtown and Northwestern OST programs in addition to the 21st Century Program as well as Camp. I was starting to get a handle on the rhythm of all of them and learning what they needed in terms of supplies. I had attended the MACC conference with William in January. I went to the SEL conference in February. I was working on a grant with Lisa. I was stressed, but the good kind of stressed.
I had a brief illness in January. Didn't feel well. Couldn't smell the bath salts we have that are really normally really strong smelling. But it passed.
I only mention this, because the world fell apart in March.
The week started with joking about all the crazy universe things happening at once. The time change had just occurred, it was a full moon, E-learning Wednesday, Friday the 13th, and Taylor was going to have their Titan Pride celebration on Friday followed by the school carnival on Saturday. The kids were bonkers. We were starting to hear about the virus in February and rumblings about what might happen, but never could I have guessed that schools would just close.
Friday the 13th was the last day of school, because the world was afraid of Covid 19.
Monday the 16th we had a meeting at the Y. It turned into a 6 hour meeting that went from reducing hours to completely shutting everything down for what turned into about 2 months. We went round and round on child care... should we have it, or should we not? Was it safe? Would we be liable if someone got sick? What precautions would need to be taken? Over about a 3 week period we called parents to see if they needed care only to decide not enough did. We did this multiple times.
I had a nervous breakdown on a Zoom call when Trish once again jumped headfirst into starting emergency child care.
Those first few months, I felt like I was spending so much time on a rocking, leaking boat, adrift on a stormy sea, I often didn't know if I could survive. I certainly couldn't breathe most of the time.
We ended up being able to have Camp fairly normal and without incident. But it was far from normal in terms of mental health. The kids, after being locked down at home for 2 months, were edgy, and had a harder time relating to each other. Counselors were more selfish and argumentative and had shorter fuses. Kids were even less coordinated because they hadn't been able to run and play for several weeks. And of course, camp was under construction for the first few weeks, because they were working on dredging it. Chaos on top of chaos.
And things were still a spin cycle of chaos at the Y everyday.
Pam was given back the downtown OST so she could get it licensed, and the Northwestern program was eliminated. I was in a holding pattern on whether school would even return to in person classes and what it would mean for camp and the 21st Century Program.
School did start on time and in person. Not as many kids came back though, because of fear of the virus. Taylor had mask mandates, breakfast, lunch, and specials in the classrooms, and recess was an every other day occurrence. The kids were completely mentally and emotionally done by the time they got to us, but had boundless energy. Trying to do any thing but survive was ambitious to say the least.
Social media was a soul sucking pit of despair from every angle and out of every corner. A difference of opinion earned the moniker of evil incarnate. Trust in humanity itself crumbled to dust. And those around me in my work world, believed every negative word uttered. This kept me bailing in that leaky boat --trying not to lose myself completely.
In November states went back into crises mode and things began to shut down again. Everyone was warned against seeing family for the holidays. We Zoomed Mark's parents instead of going to see them in person for both Thanksgiving and Christmas.
For the record- I hate Zoom. The speech lags, people talk over each other, and after staying home all the time, the only thing people have to talk about is what they ate and the weather. I can't stand it.
It was decided in November that we would return the downtown OST to being an LLEP instead of a licensed program, and therefore I would have the responsibility of running it once again. I am learning the ins and outs of licensing. I am also learning that I need to take a step back from direct involvement with the kids to more of a supervisory role. That will be a challenge for me.
I actually have hope and optimism for the future. I have plans and ways to make them happen.
As many have said, 2020 is a year few will forget. There is little positive to say about the year. However, now, on this the last day, I can say I feel like 2020 had to happen in order to appreciate what we have and figure out what we want. It forced people to figure out what they believe and exposed those who choose to only believe what they are told to believe or only have their own best interests at heart. It was a year that I struggled with mental health. I realized just how easy it is to break and just how hard it is to find all the pieces to even try to put yourself back together.
2021. I welcome you for the promise you hold.
Please make it positive.
I'm counting on you.
One Day at a time.
