We Need More Busy-bodies

Growing up the B's lived across the street... on the corner. Mr. Burke was the choir teacher at the high school. Terry was in my sister Sheri's class at school. Kelly was 4 years older than I am and gave me her hand me downs. Mrs. Burke didn't work outside the home. Their house was beautiful and they had every board game I never owned.

Next to them were the D's. They had as many kids as my family. Of the two we played with, Jenny was a coulple years older than me, Julie a year younger than my younger sister. Their parents worked at Whirlpool and their house had air conditioning where the basement was so cold you needed a jacket in the summer. Their yard was immaculate.

Z's were next. They were the cranky old couple who kept any ball that came over their fence.

L's lived in the right half of the duplex that came next. They had a daughter the about the same age as my older sisters.

To the right of our house were the W's. They had kids younger than all of us. Andy was killed when he was six crossing Alexander street on the way to his grandparents. Timmy would say after that he was going to take a ladder to heaven to visit him.

To the left of our house was a revolving door of people for some reason. I remember one family that stuck their hands through our fence and pulled the cotton plants we had brought back from Arkansas out of the ground where we had planted them.

We all belonged to each other. We knew when we did something wrong, we would get called on it ... and then called on it again from our own parents.

I wasn't made to say, "Yes, Ma'am" or "No, Sir," but the Ma'am and Sir were implied.

Smarting off wasn't cute. Some were verbally told so, others physically. Not one of us was abused.

I know this sounds like a good old days yadda yadda story, but in truth losing those days is not as wonderfully progressive as some would have you believe.

We say nothing or hold judgmental  rallies  where we shout about the evils of those whose values contradict our own. WE are perfect in our safe little houses of group think. THEY are not just wrong-headed -- but evil in their dissent. We don't know each other so we don't have to care. Our way is the only way, and anyone who refuses to do as we say is a "bigoted expletive unwilling to compromise."

Stop.

WE are supposed to be grown-ups. What example are we setting when we don't respect police, or military, or our President?

And you'll notice I didn't say like. I didn't say agree with. I didn't say celebrate. I said respect. If we can't model RESPECTFUL disagreement, how can we expect our children to respect anyone or anything.

We are supposed to be grown-ups.

WHY do you believe as you do? Don't list all the ways the person you disagree with is awful as a human being. Why do you believe what you believe? Why should I believe as you do... if I happen to disagree? Go beyond, how it is racist, bigoted, homophobic, classist, or exclusionary. Tell me how your view makes the world a better place.

And then listen.

You may be surprised how much we have in common.

The first step is getting to know the metaphorical people in your neighborhood. If we all belong to each other, maybe it would be harder to hate.

By the way, my house was the green one in the middle. We had the yard with no grass, because all the neighbor kids trampled the grass away. We had no air conditioning. We had open windows and box fans. The back porch smelled of wet laundry. The kitchen smelled of homemade cinnamon rolls. The front porch was where we played Brady Bunch and the back yard was for playing Charlies Angels.

And the street was what we crossed when we wanted to play together.

Florida Thoughts

I remember being 5 months pregnant with our second child, our first down for his nap, when my soap opera was in interrupted by the coverage from Columbine. Tears streamed down my face as I watched kids climb out windows and run. I remember thinking, “What have we done, bringing children into a world that could do this?”

On September 11, the boys were watching Blue’s Clues when I got a call from my husband telling the first tower had been hit. By the time the show finished and I got them playing in another room, I saw the plane go into the second tower. I spent days depressed wondering just what kind of world our boys would live in.

Last Wednesday, I heard about the shooting on the way home from school, and turned the TV on when I got home. I watched the events unfold just as I had before. And while I still feel scared, and contemplate life on a deserted island, I also have a different perspective.

Let me say, I am not a fan of guns. I have never held one that didn’t squirt water. We had a friend who brought one to our house while we were in college and I made him put it in his car. I have a healthy respect for them. But I am happy our Resource Officer carries a gun. We are an elementary school and the only entrance from outside is by buzzer. The kids are rarely out and about alone to let anyone in from side doors – something they would have no reason to do anyway.

Our youngest – the one I was pregnant with during Columbine – is now a Senior. My brain believes he is safe – my heart says a prayer every time I drop him off, and I make sure the last thing I say is, “I love you.”  However, gun bans are not the answer.

Where would it end? I couldn’t begin to list all the guns that could be systematically eliminated. Those who propose a ban on AR15s would go from this gun to the next on the “list”. It isn’t the guns. Anyone who kills another person in anything but war and self-defense is, by my definition, insane.

I am so grateful that this senseless, tragic, killing in Florida is leading to more than just screaming on gun control. Those who believe in gun rights are pushing back against the easy, feel good fix. We could take away the guns, but it won’t change the killing – it will only change the method. No, this time we are forcing the conversation onto values, permissiveness,  lack of family structure, and parental responsibility.

I don’t have any answers. (Remember I send my child to school with a prayer every day.)  But I do know that real change will only happen with real conversation that includes True Values and Responsibility.

 If we stand for nothing, our children will fall for everything. I want to do more than pray it isn’t in another attack that everyone saw coming. 

In Search of Concise

There is the kernel of at least one good blog post here. It needs revising, I know. I just needed to get a rough draft out and see if I find a direction.  Thanks for indulging me.



Are we worthy of respect?

I've been thinking about this lately.

As a collective, educators lament the lack of respect for our profession.

Respect is defined as "a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements."

What abilities, qualities, or achievements do we elicit? How can we expect respect from society as a whole when we don't demand it at the district level?

Teachers have college degrees, many have masters degrees, and all must have continuing education and professional development. Then we behave as though it is OK to be treated as though we are lucky to be employeed.

It is not OK to have to buy copy paper to deliver our lessons because "paper" isn't in the budget.

It is not OK to give kids 1:1 technology and then require teachers to find the appropriate material in which to meet the standards. Not supplemental items to reinforce curriculum, but the actual curriculum. Further these materials must be found outside of contract hours, because there isn't time in a contractual day. Materials must be located, vetted for standards, and be accessible through electronic filters.

It is not OK to only allow praise and bribes, but overlook disruptive and destructive behavior. It is ridiculous to expect miracles when we are not given the tools to succeed.

It is not OK to capitulate to the parents who make excuses for their children.

Some places protected teachers because of a false notion that the degree earned the right to teach. But, in an attempt to show we are no longer that entity we have thrown common sense out the window.

Some people took the quote "If kids can't learn the way we teach, perhaps we should teach the way they learn," and built it up to be THE way to engage kids. And it is, but not in the way you think.

Teaching them the way they learn doesn't mean they run the show. We have so many cute adages to mitigate our worth as teachers. "Be the guide on the side, not the sage on the stage."  "You don't sit at desks in straight backed chairs, why should kids?" "Access to constant liquid and food helps them focus on learning and not being hungry."

Teaching them the way they learn is slowing down or speeding up. It is allowing them to show what they have learned within given parameters. It's listening and reexplaining in different ways until they do know the material.

My favorite nugget though "...the world they will be living in..."

I am terrified. WE are creating that "world" either by choice or by abdication of choice.

UNLESS

we stand up and say, "No More!"

UNLESS

the administrators stand in front of us... and behind us... and say, "You will not treat my staff like that."

UNLESS

we believe we are worthy of respect and Demand RESPECT from our own administration

we may as well resign ourselves to our daily quota of widgets and collect our dollar a day paycheck.

When in Doubt

Let's talk about the weather.

Today is even, so today is positive.
After a 3 day week because of weather, and a 3 day weekend because of awful weather, we had a full day of school.
The kids were acting accordingly, so on the positive I have to talk about is  the weather.

Today was gorgeous. The snow from the weekend was crusted over, making a smooth rippling surface the sun could warm as it rose.

As I drove to school, the sun was causing some fog to form above the the snow covering the empty fields. At one point, it was like a layer cake, with snow, a gap, wispy fog, and a reflection of sun on top.

As the buses arrived, the sun was causing fog that the cold air caused to stick to the trees and bushes in the distance like fondant.

At recess, the sun made the temperature feel warmer than the thermometer declared. The kids had a blast picking up the pieces of crusted snow and letting them fall to the ground like spun glass. And they enjoyed the crunch of the tectonic plates of snow shifting beneath their feet as they ran across the playground.

At the end of the day, the sun still shone, causing slush to form where snow stomped from boots lay in clumps.

I don't know what tomorrow's weather will bring, but for an Indiana day in February, you couldn't ask for much better.

Responsibility

When it feels like you are the only one who believes having a job requires dedication to that job -- whether that job treats you well or not.

A Poem

For the month of February, I am alternating between gripes and grins. Today is even so today is positive.

I have a cold that interrupts my sleep
The kids exhaust my bones
The approaching snow could be deep
I await the beeping phone

"Hello. This is a message from your school.
 All district schools will be closed Friday February 9

Alarms turned off, it's back to sleep
Shoveling will await
For now it's just an exhausted leap
Time will tell our fate

Communication

For the month of February, I am alternating between gripes and grins. Today is an odd day, so today is a gripe.

I am a planner. I like to know what is expected, what the plan is, and how it is to be carried out.

Our district doesn't do this.

Tonight was Senior Night for Winter activities. Youngest is a Senior and in Pep Band, so he was to be recognized as well. What we knew:
*we could be there early if we wanted a picture
*we needed to be in the gym hallway at the end of the 3rd quarter of the JV game
*...and that is it

Things I wanted to know
*what do we do until the end of the 3rd quarter
*when do we walk in
*how do we walk in
*what happens after we walk in

It all worked out, but having an assigned person to answer questions would have assuaged my stress level.

Youngest needs to have a baked good for an event this weekend as part of his Honor Society requirements.

*Store bought or homemade
* Cookies, Pie, Cake, brownies
*On a big plate or bagged up
*If bagged, how many in a bag

Please. Pretend you are addressing a person from another planet. Answer every question that could possibly be asked. Give me a list of do's and don'ts.
Please. Don't rely on my teenage son to transfer information you tell him at a meeting during academic lab. He is a bright kid. Really smart, actually, but he filters information by what is important to him.
Over communicate. Please, please, please....OVER communicate.

Pep band rocked. Our pep band is amazing-- everybody says so. And the game, when Pep wasn't  playing turned out to be pretty good too.  We won. Sadly it was our last High School Pep game. Hopefully college will afford the opportunity. 

Snow day

For the month of February, I am alternating between gripes and grins. Today is an even day, so today is positive.

Growing up in La Porte, if they predicted snow... you got snow. However, that wasn't always a cancellation for everyone. Back then, we went school by school, and those of us in town-- who walked-- usually had to go regardless. Bus kids got more cancellations. I remember listening to WLOI/WCOE as the list of schools was read off, "Critchfield...Kingsbury...LINCOLN!!!!" celebration time.  A snow day was a day of playing outside in our snow suits and sometimes Mom would make us snowcream. That my childhood included the blizzards of '78 and '79 is just  bonus.

When I was a Child Care Director, school cancellations meant making sure I had enough staff for the kids whose parents worked and activities to occupy the kids until the parents could pick them up. Snow days were not a cause of excitement.

When the boys were young and up until about 3 years ago, snow days were much the same as my childhood, except the whole district closed and days were made up at the end of the year. (We didn't make up days when I was young.)

The last three years, our district has taken advantage of 1:1 technology, and when school is cancelled, the kids have e-learning. We avoid tacking on days to the end of the year this way.

Now I realize this is not a positive for all my friends who are teachers and have to provide those lessons for e-learning and also have to have "office hours" and virtual Professional Development.

Nor is it fun and games for those children who actually do their e-learning.

But, even though I lose money every time school is cancelled because I am an hourly employee, I feel like cancellations are a gift. I have around 60 unused sick days over the last 12 years because I don't get sick. I rarely use the 2 personal days I have every year. A cancellation is like God is saying, "Take a break."

The kids at school have been squirrelly lately. A blue blob approached across the radar last night and we had a day at home today.

The Weather Channel app says we are under a weather advisory from 1am until 10am tomorrow. I wonder if I need another break. 😎

Only time will tell.

Witch or Doormat?

I am using the theme of Gripes and Grins for the month of February. I am alternating days. Today is an odd day, so today will be a gripe.

I am working in 6th grade this year. I worked with these same kids when they were kindergartners, and not much has changed.

Education today seems to be a choice between being a screaming shrew and being a door mat.

 We spend our days giving kids choice in their learning.

 Many of us are jumping on the Starbucks classroom bandwagon because kids need to have choice in where and how they sit.  After all, we as adults have that choice.
 We should provide lamps instead of the overhead lights because lamps are not as harsh.
 Kids bring water bottles into class because drinking water is essential, not only to life, but to learning.
They bring snacks because they can't think on a stomach that ate two hours ago.
As adults, we listen to music while we work--kids should be afforded that same choice.

We mustn't expect them to work when they don't feel like it. Homework can be turned in when kids get around to it...after all they are busy with their extra-curricular lives.

We require "turn and talk" and group work because that "is the world they will live in."

So kids kick back, relax with their music,
and snacks,
 and drinks,
 in the chair of their choosing,
with their buddies,
and play the games they have put on their computers without permission or watch YouTube videos as they search for the answer
to "What is the capital of Spain"
and we are supposed to look on this with satisfaction because these kids are taking control of their learning.

Until we don't.

We are told to give coins and stickers and prize box gems to kids who are behaving properly in hopes the "fun timers" will want the goodies.

But they rarely do.

We ask politely.
They ignore.

We manipulate.
"I'd like to thank Bobby for getting started on his work."
They snort.

We raise our voice and remind them of what they should be doing.
They roll their eyes.

We approach individuals to ask for them to stay on task.
They promise to our face, then roll their eyes when we walk away.

We resist the urge to turn into a swirling, twirling out of control banshee.
They laugh as they eat another cookie.

We ask for help from our supervisors and are told we need to reward those giving us appropriate behavior, because a consequence for those who aren't, could hurt their feelings and inspire a call from a parent.

It seems kids have all the choice in the world.

We have the choice to be a witch or a doormat.

'Cause THIS is the world we live in.

Lazy Weekend

In February I am alternating days between Gripes and grins. Today is an even day so it is positive.

Yesterday was my hair day. I go every 6-8 weeks to get my hair cut and colored. I usually just come home afterwards, but it was a long week and I wanted  to get away, so I had hubby take me for a date day.

We went to the big city and ate at an Italian restaurant--I have spinach ravioli leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

We then went to a little salvage/antique shop. We channeled our inner Chip and Joanna and planned where we would put pieces in the new house we aren't looking for yet. We did buy an old cast iron wheel, two old windows, and a bell -- because I am acquiring an obsession with old bells.

A trip to the big city isn't complete without a trip to the book store and yesterday it was Half Price. Found a couple of books.

We tried to get cokes from Steak and Shake, but apparently the person two cars ahead was waiting for enough food for a party because the line wasn't moving. We just went to Walmart for groceries and had a coke with dinner at home.

Today we woke up to snow on the ground. Unfortunately too soon to affect school tomorrow --not that I'd want a delay or cancellation. And it's just been a lazy day. I didn't sleep well last night, so hubby and I took a nap this afternoon and I rarely take naps.

We had family game night and are now watching the Super Bowl.  Well Hubby is watching the Super Bowl, I am writing and watching the commercials.

Time to make the popcorn -- on the stove the old fashioned way.
The perfect end to a lazy weekend.

Let me get this straight

For the month of February I am alternating days between gripes and grins. Today is an odd day, so today will be a gripe.

We are a district that has switched to standards based grading, and like most districts we follow pacing guides.

Let me know if I have this straight.

In the "old days," teachers would teach, assign homework, and give tests. They would then grade those assignments and tests and determine if the material had been learned, or if more time was needed to understand the material.

With pacing guides, the thought is if kids don't grasp the concept this time, they will get it when the material cycles back around.

Then, with Standards Based Grading, the most important thing is mastery of the standards. Turning in homework on time is no longer necessary, because responsibility cannot be part of the grade.

So, a child could wait until the last day of the trimester and turn in homework due 12 weeks earlier. These same kids can retake the assessments given to them-- as many times as they like-- to "prove" they have "mastered" the standards. And whether they have or not, the pacing guide dictates the class move on.

Teachers are judged and their pay and job security is tied to the students passing one super test based on what they should have learned.

To whom does this make any sense what-so-ever?

Summer Jobs

February theme is to alternate days. Gripes on odd days and grins on even days. Today is even, so today is positive.

Yesterday youngest had his first interview for a job. It was over the phone. He interviewed for the job of camp counselor at Camp.

He got it!

We kind of knew it would be a yes. It was a friendly environment, but what a wonderful way to enter the world of work.

My husband and I were counselors there in 1988 and 1989. The boys have been through the camper to CIT to Counselor track since 2009. Oldest will be working his third summer, and will likely be a Senior Counselor.

Working at Camp is seriously, literally, the best job on earth. You are outside in nature, away from electronics, and immersed in learning how to live with others.  As staff, you learn how to organize your time, deal with conflicts, and teach kids how to as well. You learn new skills and most importantly you learn what you are capable of.

Working at camp changed the directory of my life and that of my husbands. Our oldest has decided to pursue a different educational path because of camp. I have a feeling it will have the same effect of our youngest.

I am nervous, sad, and terrified of the fact that our last summer as a family is behind us. Both boys will be gone for 8 weeks this summer. I will have an empty house. I will be spending my time packing and cleaning, but it will be me, alone, all day. But you know what?

Our boys will be well on their way to amazing futures because of a Y camp in Michigan.

And I couldn't be happier or more proud.

Trauma

I'm going to try an experiment. For the month of February I am going to try a theme of Gripes and Grins. Odd days will be things that frustrate me, and make me question the validity of process. Even days will be to celebrate the positive and praise the things that are going well.

Today is an odd day and my topic is trauma.

There have been a few issues this week that make this the topic I wanted to touch on first. Of course I can't go into specifics, but I can comment on our response to it.

We "only" have about 350 students so a half time counselor is plenty, right?

Students who put themselves to bed don't need emotional support.

Kids whose parents have divorced and had more children with someone they may or may not have married don't need emotional support.

Kids who are experiencing loss or illness of family members don't need emotional support.

Children of parents who are too busy dealing with their own lives to put the work into raising them, don't need emotional support.

Children of parents who think unlimited screens, tv in their rooms to help them sleep, and horror movies as normal viewing, don't need emotional support.

Instead what they need are computers and technology for each of them because that is the world they will be living in.

Instead what they need are teachers who are trained in how to use technology and how teach to the test instead of how to work and teach children who may live in trauma.

Instead what they need is secrecy to avoid law suits about divulging too much information about the trauma they are going through.

Because everyone knows that trauma is easy to deal with alone -- especially when you have no skills to do so.

Priorities people.