Encyclopedia of Me: Volume F (final)

Loosely based on the book Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life by Amy Krause Rosenthal.

Encyclopedia of Me: Volume F  part 2

Fingernails: I have always wanted fingernails. Not the long, scary, Hollywood nails, just nails long enough to tap impatiently on the table. Alas, it doesn't seem to be meant for me. I used to bite, now I pick and peel them. I can try really hard to leave them alone. I can grow them out a little and add oil and push back the cuticles and add super strong polish, but inevitably there will be a chip, or the nail will weaken, and then I pick and peel, and it's gone. The longest I've had nails had been 2 months.
          Oh, and I haven't really been able to handle colored polish. Colored polish is just a shiny beacon that screams, "Here I am! Don't you want to peel this color off and take the top layer of nail with it?' And my answer always seems to be, "Apparently, yes I do."

Flowers: I am not a flower kind of girl. The amount of money spent to send flowers to me could buy at least one hard back book or several paperbacks. Books last forever. Flowers are food for the cats to throw up. The water turns slimy. Flowers die in a short amount of time, but are background noise long before then. I'm just not a fan.
              Outside flowers, however, are a goal. I just have no idea how to create a pretty flower garden to surround our deck. Lilacs are my favorite and we have 3 bushes. I would like to figure out what other flowers could go around the front porch or how to make our huge yard pretty. I guess I need to watch more HGTV?  (see home improvement shows)

Friends:  I am an introvert. I do not like to go out and meet new people. I am not the kind of person who walks into the room with a, "Here I am!" persona. I am the kind who walks quietly into a room and hopes someone approaches me. Therefore I don't have a lot of friends. I never have.
           In High School I had a few close friends, but our paths drifted apart when the guys they were dating were doing things I didn't approve of. I started hanging out with my then boyfriend (now husband), and his friends, more and more. His friends became my friends.
           In college I worked too much to have close friends. Acquaintances, sure, but not "friends."
            Camp friends are forever friends. Living with a group of people 24 hours a day for 10 weeks, creates some tight bonds. We will be available for each other until the day we die.
           As a stay at home mom, I became more isolated. I had a few mommy friends, but for the most part, I was on my own.
            Once I started working at school, I gained some people. They were there for me when my husband lost his job. They were there for me when my husband moved two hours away and the boys and I stayed here. And they were there for me when both my parents died. Some have moved away, and soon I will move away as well, but even though we don't, and won't, see each other every day, we will be friends.
             Thank goodness for text messaging!

Nurturing Butterflies

A butterfly emerging from it's chrysalis needs to struggle to develop its wings so it can fly.

A baby chick has to peck its own way out of its shell in order to build up strength to survive once it breaks free.

If someone were to help either of them-- out of pity at their struggle-- they would succeed only in harming, if not killing them.   Struggle is necessary in order to build the capacity to survive. We as a society have succeeded in harming the next generation through our pity at their struggle. 

Conscience is that little voice inside our head telling us whether something is right or wrong. But who decides right and wrong and how do we instill those values in our kids?

It used to be, at least for me, parents and church that taught me right from wrong. Sometimes fear was the catalyst for that decision. Fear of the paddle (which I don't agree with), but also fear of disappointing those who believed in me and trusted me. A healthy fear is good. It is that voice that says, "This is wrong."

Today we lament parents who have no discipline and only want to be their child's friend. Apparently being their friend is our job?  The world is such a horrible place, and parents are such horrible care givers, that WE in EDUCATION have to be the "safe" place for them?  And just how do we make them feel "safe"?... by being their friend. 

In one of my favorite books, Positive Discipline  by Jane Nelsen it talks about how discipline should "follow the 3 "R's" and be "Natural and Logical"

Related means the consequence should be related to the behavior. 

Respectful means the consequence must not involve blame, shame, or pain and be respectfully enforced.

Reasonable means the consequence must not involve piggy-backing and be reasonable from the child's point of view as well as the adults.

Speaking for my school, we give multiple chances that include stickers and coins and tickets that lead to treasure boxes and prizes... for not throwing a fit, or hitting, or fighting, or disrupting. We take away recess... tomorrow. Our office is a friendly place because kids "shouldn't fear" the office. So in a sense we are a chaotic mess of placation.  We let our pity make excuses for why "they can't succeed". 

They live in a bad neighborhood.

They live in poverty.

They have a parent who has to work two jobs.

Parent is in jail.

Parent is sick.

Drugs.

Etc., Etc., Etc.,

How many success stories start with, "Someone else put in the work and I let them."  When we teach writing we teach there has to be a struggle, an antagonist, a hardship-- that brings about change. 

How would you grade a story whose plot was: Johnny was disruptive and rude. He disrespected adults and caused havoc wherever he went, so his mom let him play on his phone and his teacher let him pick from the prize box, and the principal bought him Mc Donalds and ate lunch with him.  Johnny continued being rude because he liked the cool perks. The End?

I'm positive we have different views on what is right and wrong in the political and social norms aspect of life, and we shouldn't be projecting those beliefs on the children in our charge, but I think we can all agree on the Golden Rule. Expecting kids to be respectful and kind and to treat others with decency is not abuse. It's not even setting the bar too high. 

Many in education don't realize you don't have to be a doormat in order to build relations. Shouldn't we set expectations high enough for them to feel pride in that achievement and the work required, rather than so low they can trip over them when they are walking?

Are we brave enough to let them struggle out of the chrysalis of childhood?

A day's work

When a group of volunteers come together, it's amazing what can be accomplished in a single day.