I had a revelation yesterday.
I was talking with a student. He doesn't have a great home life -- not terrible, but complicated. His "friends" can be great, except when they aren't. He had walked away from them for once and was alone. I told him he didn't have to put up with the way they treat him. His response?
"Then I won't have any friends."
I realized these kids I'm so frustrated with, don't realize what abuse is. They are willing to sacrifice self esteem and physical well being so the cool kids will like them.
And the kids who are using put downs and "joking" are fueled by the attention they receive from their victims.
As adults we intervene and tell the offender to stop. But that's when we catch them. We often don't let offended know they are worth more than their friends are showing them they are. Our interference doesn't stop the behavior and only emboldens the offender because we don't teach the skills of saying, "Stop making fun of my weight. I don't like when you punch my shoulder so hard." We don't teach that when they go along and go back to being treated badly, they are saying it is OK to be treated that way.
We need to teach skills of inner strength.
And I just had another revelation...
Tomorrow, why PBIS bothers me so much.
Showing posts with label behavior. Show all posts
Showing posts with label behavior. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 11, 2018
Tuesday, March 20, 2018
Facepalm
There are phone calls you dread making. Needing to talk to a parent about a behavior or educational matter rarely goes well. Parents push back. They blame. They ask what the other child did. They go over your head looking for a different answer.
Making those phone calls is as difficult for the teacher to make as it is for the parents to hear.
So it was with great joy one of the teachers I work with called a parent today. The child had defended himself and classmates through the written word in an attempt to get things changed for the better.
"WE are so proud of this child, and just wanted you to know," the teacher told the mother.
Mom was in tears on the phone and was saying she would make her son's favorite meal. The teacher hung up feeling pretty good.
Ten minutes later, the secretary calls over the phone intercom and said the mom was on the phone. "Mom says you just called, and she just wanted to make sure nothing was wrong."
Facepalm
Apparently good phone calls should be condidered hard to make too.
Making those phone calls is as difficult for the teacher to make as it is for the parents to hear.
So it was with great joy one of the teachers I work with called a parent today. The child had defended himself and classmates through the written word in an attempt to get things changed for the better.
"WE are so proud of this child, and just wanted you to know," the teacher told the mother.
Mom was in tears on the phone and was saying she would make her son's favorite meal. The teacher hung up feeling pretty good.
Ten minutes later, the secretary calls over the phone intercom and said the mom was on the phone. "Mom says you just called, and she just wanted to make sure nothing was wrong."
Facepalm
Apparently good phone calls should be condidered hard to make too.
Thursday, March 8, 2018
Be careful what you wish for
Tendrils drape over desks
spreading out across the floor
powered by a twenty slot bar.
Many tabs open.
Quick hands switch-
from supposed to be...
to not.
Update
Glitch
site blocked by administrator
Connection lost
There's a pic for that...
and unfortunately that as well.
Headphones lost
Volume up
An updated version of singing a round
An updated version of singing a round
An updated version of singing a round
An updated version of singing a round
Screens darkened
'cause bright "hurts eyes"
obscuring
Teacher talking
Keys lure fingers
one more click
one more command
I wasn't!
I'm not!
angry sigh
screen is closed
Money spent
Mandates levied
Money spent so
Use is Mandatory
No more paper
No more books
Oh, so many dirty looks.
So you think you want Technology?
Be careful what you wish for.
spreading out across the floor
powered by a twenty slot bar.
Many tabs open.
Quick hands switch-
from supposed to be...
to not.
Update
Glitch
site blocked by administrator
Connection lost
There's a pic for that...
and unfortunately that as well.
Headphones lost
Volume up
An updated version of singing a round
An updated version of singing a round
An updated version of singing a round
An updated version of singing a round
Screens darkened
'cause bright "hurts eyes"
obscuring
Teacher talking
Keys lure fingers
one more click
one more command
I wasn't!
I'm not!
angry sigh
screen is closed
Money spent
Mandates levied
Money spent so
Use is Mandatory
No more paper
No more books
Oh, so many dirty looks.
So you think you want Technology?
Be careful what you wish for.
Tuesday, March 6, 2018
Nurturing Butterflies
A butterfly emerging from it's chrysalis needs to struggle to develop its wings so it can fly.
A baby chick has to peck its own way out of its shell in order to build up strength to survive once it breaks free.
If someone were to help either of them-- out of pity at their struggle-- they would succeed only in harming, if not killing them. Struggle is necessary in order to build the capacity to survive. We as a society have succeeded in harming the next generation through our pity at their struggle.
Conscience is that little voice inside our head telling us whether something is right or wrong. But who decides right and wrong and how do we instill those values in our kids?
It used to be, at least for me, parents and church that taught me right from wrong. Sometimes fear was the catalyst for that decision. Fear of the paddle (which I don't agree with), but also fear of disappointing those who believed in me and trusted me. A healthy fear is good. It is that voice that says, "This is wrong."
Today we lament parents who have no discipline and only want to be their child's friend. Apparently being their friend is our job? The world is such a horrible place, and parents are such horrible care givers, that WE in EDUCATION have to be the "safe" place for them? And just how do we make them feel "safe"?... by being their friend.
In one of my favorite books, Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen it talks about how discipline should "follow the 3 "R's" and be "Natural and Logical"
Related means the consequence should be related to the behavior.
Respectful means the consequence must not involve blame, shame, or pain and be respectfully enforced.
Reasonable means the consequence must not involve piggy-backing and be reasonable from the child's point of view as well as the adults.
Speaking for my school, we give multiple chances that include stickers and coins and tickets that lead to treasure boxes and prizes... for not throwing a fit, or hitting, or fighting, or disrupting. We take away recess... tomorrow. Our office is a friendly place because kids "shouldn't fear" the office. So in a sense we are a chaotic mess of placation. We let our pity make excuses for why "they can't succeed".
They live in a bad neighborhood.
They live in poverty.
They have a parent who has to work two jobs.
Parent is in jail.
Parent is sick.
Drugs.
Etc., Etc., Etc.,
How many success stories start with, "Someone else put in the work and I let them." When we teach writing we teach there has to be a struggle, an antagonist, a hardship-- that brings about change.
How would you grade a story whose plot was: Johnny was disruptive and rude. He disrespected adults and caused havoc wherever he went, so his mom let him play on his phone and his teacher let him pick from the prize box, and the principal bought him Mc Donalds and ate lunch with him. Johnny continued being rude because he liked the cool perks. The End?
I'm positive we have different views on what is right and wrong in the political and social norms aspect of life, and we shouldn't be projecting those beliefs on the children in our charge, but I think we can all agree on the Golden Rule. Expecting kids to be respectful and kind and to treat others with decency is not abuse. It's not even setting the bar too high.
Many in education don't realize you don't have to be a doormat in order to build relations. Shouldn't we set expectations high enough for them to feel pride in that achievement and the work required, rather than so low they can trip over them when they are walking?
Are we brave enough to let them struggle out of the chrysalis of childhood?
Tuesday, February 20, 2018
We Need More Busy-bodies
Growing up the B's lived across the street... on the corner. Mr. Burke was the choir teacher at the high school. Terry was in my sister Sheri's class at school. Kelly was 4 years older than I am and gave me her hand me downs. Mrs. Burke didn't work outside the home. Their house was beautiful and they had every board game I never owned.
Next to them were the D's. They had as many kids as my family. Of the two we played with, Jenny was a coulple years older than me, Julie a year younger than my younger sister. Their parents worked at Whirlpool and their house had air conditioning where the basement was so cold you needed a jacket in the summer. Their yard was immaculate.
Z's were next. They were the cranky old couple who kept any ball that came over their fence.
L's lived in the right half of the duplex that came next. They had a daughter the about the same age as my older sisters.
To the right of our house were the W's. They had kids younger than all of us. Andy was killed when he was six crossing Alexander street on the way to his grandparents. Timmy would say after that he was going to take a ladder to heaven to visit him.
To the left of our house was a revolving door of people for some reason. I remember one family that stuck their hands through our fence and pulled the cotton plants we had brought back from Arkansas out of the ground where we had planted them.
We all belonged to each other. We knew when we did something wrong, we would get called on it ... and then called on it again from our own parents.
I wasn't made to say, "Yes, Ma'am" or "No, Sir," but the Ma'am and Sir were implied.
Smarting off wasn't cute. Some were verbally told so, others physically. Not one of us was abused.
I know this sounds like a good old days yadda yadda story, but in truth losing those days is not as wonderfully progressive as some would have you believe.
We say nothing or hold judgmental rallies where we shout about the evils of those whose values contradict our own. WE are perfect in our safe little houses of group think. THEY are not just wrong-headed -- but evil in their dissent. We don't know each other so we don't have to care. Our way is the only way, and anyone who refuses to do as we say is a "bigoted expletive unwilling to compromise."
Stop.
WE are supposed to be grown-ups. What example are we setting when we don't respect police, or military, or our President?
And you'll notice I didn't say like. I didn't say agree with. I didn't say celebrate. I said respect. If we can't model RESPECTFUL disagreement, how can we expect our children to respect anyone or anything.
We are supposed to be grown-ups.
WHY do you believe as you do? Don't list all the ways the person you disagree with is awful as a human being. Why do you believe what you believe? Why should I believe as you do... if I happen to disagree? Go beyond, how it is racist, bigoted, homophobic, classist, or exclusionary. Tell me how your view makes the world a better place.
And then listen.
You may be surprised how much we have in common.
The first step is getting to know the metaphorical people in your neighborhood. If we all belong to each other, maybe it would be harder to hate.
By the way, my house was the green one in the middle. We had the yard with no grass, because all the neighbor kids trampled the grass away. We had no air conditioning. We had open windows and box fans. The back porch smelled of wet laundry. The kitchen smelled of homemade cinnamon rolls. The front porch was where we played Brady Bunch and the back yard was for playing Charlies Angels.
And the street was what we crossed when we wanted to play together.
Next to them were the D's. They had as many kids as my family. Of the two we played with, Jenny was a coulple years older than me, Julie a year younger than my younger sister. Their parents worked at Whirlpool and their house had air conditioning where the basement was so cold you needed a jacket in the summer. Their yard was immaculate.
Z's were next. They were the cranky old couple who kept any ball that came over their fence.
L's lived in the right half of the duplex that came next. They had a daughter the about the same age as my older sisters.
To the right of our house were the W's. They had kids younger than all of us. Andy was killed when he was six crossing Alexander street on the way to his grandparents. Timmy would say after that he was going to take a ladder to heaven to visit him.
To the left of our house was a revolving door of people for some reason. I remember one family that stuck their hands through our fence and pulled the cotton plants we had brought back from Arkansas out of the ground where we had planted them.
We all belonged to each other. We knew when we did something wrong, we would get called on it ... and then called on it again from our own parents.
I wasn't made to say, "Yes, Ma'am" or "No, Sir," but the Ma'am and Sir were implied.
Smarting off wasn't cute. Some were verbally told so, others physically. Not one of us was abused.
I know this sounds like a good old days yadda yadda story, but in truth losing those days is not as wonderfully progressive as some would have you believe.
We say nothing or hold judgmental rallies where we shout about the evils of those whose values contradict our own. WE are perfect in our safe little houses of group think. THEY are not just wrong-headed -- but evil in their dissent. We don't know each other so we don't have to care. Our way is the only way, and anyone who refuses to do as we say is a "bigoted expletive unwilling to compromise."
Stop.
WE are supposed to be grown-ups. What example are we setting when we don't respect police, or military, or our President?
And you'll notice I didn't say like. I didn't say agree with. I didn't say celebrate. I said respect. If we can't model RESPECTFUL disagreement, how can we expect our children to respect anyone or anything.
We are supposed to be grown-ups.
WHY do you believe as you do? Don't list all the ways the person you disagree with is awful as a human being. Why do you believe what you believe? Why should I believe as you do... if I happen to disagree? Go beyond, how it is racist, bigoted, homophobic, classist, or exclusionary. Tell me how your view makes the world a better place.
And then listen.
You may be surprised how much we have in common.
The first step is getting to know the metaphorical people in your neighborhood. If we all belong to each other, maybe it would be harder to hate.
By the way, my house was the green one in the middle. We had the yard with no grass, because all the neighbor kids trampled the grass away. We had no air conditioning. We had open windows and box fans. The back porch smelled of wet laundry. The kitchen smelled of homemade cinnamon rolls. The front porch was where we played Brady Bunch and the back yard was for playing Charlies Angels.
And the street was what we crossed when we wanted to play together.
Tuesday, February 13, 2018
In Search of Concise
There is the kernel of at least one good blog post here. It needs revising, I know. I just needed to get a rough draft out and see if I find a direction. Thanks for indulging me.
Are we worthy of respect?
I've been thinking about this lately.
As a collective, educators lament the lack of respect for our profession.
Respect is defined as "a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements."
What abilities, qualities, or achievements do we elicit? How can we expect respect from society as a whole when we don't demand it at the district level?
Teachers have college degrees, many have masters degrees, and all must have continuing education and professional development. Then we behave as though it is OK to be treated as though we are lucky to be employeed.
It is not OK to have to buy copy paper to deliver our lessons because "paper" isn't in the budget.
It is not OK to give kids 1:1 technology and then require teachers to find the appropriate material in which to meet the standards. Not supplemental items to reinforce curriculum, but the actual curriculum. Further these materials must be found outside of contract hours, because there isn't time in a contractual day. Materials must be located, vetted for standards, and be accessible through electronic filters.
It is not OK to only allow praise and bribes, but overlook disruptive and destructive behavior. It is ridiculous to expect miracles when we are not given the tools to succeed.
It is not OK to capitulate to the parents who make excuses for their children.
Some places protected teachers because of a false notion that the degree earned the right to teach. But, in an attempt to show we are no longer that entity we have thrown common sense out the window.
Some people took the quote "If kids can't learn the way we teach, perhaps we should teach the way they learn," and built it up to be THE way to engage kids. And it is, but not in the way you think.
Teaching them the way they learn doesn't mean they run the show. We have so many cute adages to mitigate our worth as teachers. "Be the guide on the side, not the sage on the stage." "You don't sit at desks in straight backed chairs, why should kids?" "Access to constant liquid and food helps them focus on learning and not being hungry."
Teaching them the way they learn is slowing down or speeding up. It is allowing them to show what they have learned within given parameters. It's listening and reexplaining in different ways until they do know the material.
My favorite nugget though "...the world they will be living in..."
I am terrified. WE are creating that "world" either by choice or by abdication of choice.
UNLESS
we stand up and say, "No More!"
UNLESS
the administrators stand in front of us... and behind us... and say, "You will not treat my staff like that."
UNLESS
we believe we are worthy of respect and Demand RESPECT from our own administration
we may as well resign ourselves to our daily quota of widgets and collect our dollar a day paycheck.
Are we worthy of respect?
I've been thinking about this lately.
As a collective, educators lament the lack of respect for our profession.
Respect is defined as "a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements."
What abilities, qualities, or achievements do we elicit? How can we expect respect from society as a whole when we don't demand it at the district level?
Teachers have college degrees, many have masters degrees, and all must have continuing education and professional development. Then we behave as though it is OK to be treated as though we are lucky to be employeed.
It is not OK to have to buy copy paper to deliver our lessons because "paper" isn't in the budget.
It is not OK to give kids 1:1 technology and then require teachers to find the appropriate material in which to meet the standards. Not supplemental items to reinforce curriculum, but the actual curriculum. Further these materials must be found outside of contract hours, because there isn't time in a contractual day. Materials must be located, vetted for standards, and be accessible through electronic filters.
It is not OK to only allow praise and bribes, but overlook disruptive and destructive behavior. It is ridiculous to expect miracles when we are not given the tools to succeed.
It is not OK to capitulate to the parents who make excuses for their children.
Some places protected teachers because of a false notion that the degree earned the right to teach. But, in an attempt to show we are no longer that entity we have thrown common sense out the window.
Some people took the quote "If kids can't learn the way we teach, perhaps we should teach the way they learn," and built it up to be THE way to engage kids. And it is, but not in the way you think.
Teaching them the way they learn doesn't mean they run the show. We have so many cute adages to mitigate our worth as teachers. "Be the guide on the side, not the sage on the stage." "You don't sit at desks in straight backed chairs, why should kids?" "Access to constant liquid and food helps them focus on learning and not being hungry."
Teaching them the way they learn is slowing down or speeding up. It is allowing them to show what they have learned within given parameters. It's listening and reexplaining in different ways until they do know the material.
My favorite nugget though "...the world they will be living in..."
I am terrified. WE are creating that "world" either by choice or by abdication of choice.
UNLESS
we stand up and say, "No More!"
UNLESS
the administrators stand in front of us... and behind us... and say, "You will not treat my staff like that."
UNLESS
we believe we are worthy of respect and Demand RESPECT from our own administration
we may as well resign ourselves to our daily quota of widgets and collect our dollar a day paycheck.
Monday, February 5, 2018
Witch or Doormat?
I am using the theme of Gripes and Grins for the month of February. I am alternating days. Today is an odd day, so today will be a gripe.
I am working in 6th grade this year. I worked with these same kids when they were kindergartners, and not much has changed.
Education today seems to be a choice between being a screaming shrew and being a door mat.
We spend our days giving kids choice in their learning.
Many of us are jumping on the Starbucks classroom bandwagon because kids need to have choice in where and how they sit. After all, we as adults have that choice.
We should provide lamps instead of the overhead lights because lamps are not as harsh.
Kids bring water bottles into class because drinking water is essential, not only to life, but to learning.
They bring snacks because they can't think on a stomach that ate two hours ago.
As adults, we listen to music while we work--kids should be afforded that same choice.
We mustn't expect them to work when they don't feel like it. Homework can be turned in when kids get around to it...after all they are busy with their extra-curricular lives.
We require "turn and talk" and group work because that "is the world they will live in."
So kids kick back, relax with their music,
and snacks,
and drinks,
in the chair of their choosing,
with their buddies,
and play the games they have put on their computers without permission or watch YouTube videos as they search for the answer
to "What is the capital of Spain"
and we are supposed to look on this with satisfaction because these kids are taking control of their learning.
Until we don't.
We are told to give coins and stickers and prize box gems to kids who are behaving properly in hopes the "fun timers" will want the goodies.
But they rarely do.
We ask politely.
They ignore.
We manipulate.
"I'd like to thank Bobby for getting started on his work."
They snort.
We raise our voice and remind them of what they should be doing.
They roll their eyes.
We approach individuals to ask for them to stay on task.
They promise to our face, then roll their eyes when we walk away.
We resist the urge to turn into a swirling, twirling out of control banshee.
They laugh as they eat another cookie.
We ask for help from our supervisors and are told we need to reward those giving us appropriate behavior, because a consequence for those who aren't, could hurt their feelings and inspire a call from a parent.
It seems kids have all the choice in the world.
We have the choice to be a witch or a doormat.
'Cause THIS is the world we live in.
I am working in 6th grade this year. I worked with these same kids when they were kindergartners, and not much has changed.
Education today seems to be a choice between being a screaming shrew and being a door mat.
We spend our days giving kids choice in their learning.
Many of us are jumping on the Starbucks classroom bandwagon because kids need to have choice in where and how they sit. After all, we as adults have that choice.
We should provide lamps instead of the overhead lights because lamps are not as harsh.
Kids bring water bottles into class because drinking water is essential, not only to life, but to learning.
They bring snacks because they can't think on a stomach that ate two hours ago.
As adults, we listen to music while we work--kids should be afforded that same choice.
We mustn't expect them to work when they don't feel like it. Homework can be turned in when kids get around to it...after all they are busy with their extra-curricular lives.
We require "turn and talk" and group work because that "is the world they will live in."
So kids kick back, relax with their music,
and snacks,
and drinks,
in the chair of their choosing,
with their buddies,
and play the games they have put on their computers without permission or watch YouTube videos as they search for the answer
to "What is the capital of Spain"
and we are supposed to look on this with satisfaction because these kids are taking control of their learning.
Until we don't.
We are told to give coins and stickers and prize box gems to kids who are behaving properly in hopes the "fun timers" will want the goodies.
But they rarely do.
We ask politely.
They ignore.
We manipulate.
"I'd like to thank Bobby for getting started on his work."
They snort.
We raise our voice and remind them of what they should be doing.
They roll their eyes.
We approach individuals to ask for them to stay on task.
They promise to our face, then roll their eyes when we walk away.
We resist the urge to turn into a swirling, twirling out of control banshee.
They laugh as they eat another cookie.
We ask for help from our supervisors and are told we need to reward those giving us appropriate behavior, because a consequence for those who aren't, could hurt their feelings and inspire a call from a parent.
It seems kids have all the choice in the world.
We have the choice to be a witch or a doormat.
'Cause THIS is the world we live in.
Tuesday, November 28, 2017
There's a Program For That
When I was young, I wanted to work with kids, and that meant being a teacher ...or so I thought.
I changed my mind before it was too late, and I'm glad. My instincts were correct for me. Being a camp counselor and later a Child Care and Camp Director, was for me because it is instinctive. Teaching used to be an art, but now it is a program.
Need practice on Math, Reading, and Science? We have Moby Max.
Need practice on Reading? We have A to Z Reading.
How are they doing in Math and Language? We have MClass and Acuity.
Improving in reading? Check with Benchmarking Kits.
Practice for ISTEP? NWEA.
Want to be more creative and still focus on standards? Have a Maker Space room.
Technology is the future of everything, so give even the youngest child an IPAD instead of crayons.
And then there's behavior.
Rather than ask, "When did we lose control?" it seems we should ask, "When did we have control?"
When we took away the Art of teaching and opted for scripts, we lost the natural connections that were made. So, now there is a program for that.
Actually we have had several just in the twelve years I have been in the educational system. Our latest is Positive Behavioral Intervention and Supports-- or PBIS.
Catch 'em being good and ignore bad behavior.
We need a program for this?
I have problems with all of the "Behavior Management" programs. We who work with children shouldn't need a scripted program to guide us in working with children. A scripted program is only good until the next program comes along. And we all know that is about as long as it takes an administrator to go to a new conference and come back with free introductory offers.
Our latest ...mandate? ... is kids who get in trouble more often will be assigned an adult to check in with them every morning and every afternoon, to hear the child's goals and then to see if they met them. Apparently, our PBIS team heard children do better if they know an adult cares about them. So, to show these chosen kids we care, they will bring a piece of paper with goals written on them, and the assigned adult will sign the paper each day. Because... you know... data tracking.
I want to climb on the highest roof top and scream, "You seriously need a program to tell you kids do better if they know you care?!!!!"
Are teachers are so bogged down with every other "program in an app", that they no longer have the God given ability to know a child needs a couple extra minutes of their time, nor do they feel they have the time to devote to touch base? Really?
And why do we not even mention the elephant in the room? How many administrators does it take to ensure and maintain data points? Could some of that money be spent on more counselor time in every building?
Education majors need training in relating with children. Educators need training in working with kids in crisis. But we are not counselors. We need to be part of the care team and we need to stop hiding behind "privacy rights" and "right to know". I'm sorry, but if a child is acting out because a parent is in jail, or a family member is sick, we need to know. Children often don't have words for what they are dealing with, and giving them a sticker or a dojo point because they hold it together for a morning doesn't help them deal with the emotion. And if they aren't dealing with the emotion, we are all --kids, peers, and adults, paying the price.
The solution isn't a new program or data point-- tracked but forgotten. The solution is common sense, and the bravery to do what is not easy, but instead what is right.
Unfortunately, I don't think there is a Common Sense booth at any conference attended by any administrator.
And even if there was, I'm not sure any administrator would stop to talk to the vendor.
I changed my mind before it was too late, and I'm glad. My instincts were correct for me. Being a camp counselor and later a Child Care and Camp Director, was for me because it is instinctive. Teaching used to be an art, but now it is a program.
Need practice on Math, Reading, and Science? We have Moby Max.
Need practice on Reading? We have A to Z Reading.
How are they doing in Math and Language? We have MClass and Acuity.
Improving in reading? Check with Benchmarking Kits.
Practice for ISTEP? NWEA.
Want to be more creative and still focus on standards? Have a Maker Space room.
Technology is the future of everything, so give even the youngest child an IPAD instead of crayons.
And then there's behavior.
Rather than ask, "When did we lose control?" it seems we should ask, "When did we have control?"
When we took away the Art of teaching and opted for scripts, we lost the natural connections that were made. So, now there is a program for that.
Actually we have had several just in the twelve years I have been in the educational system. Our latest is Positive Behavioral Intervention and Supports-- or PBIS.
Catch 'em being good and ignore bad behavior.
We need a program for this?
I have problems with all of the "Behavior Management" programs. We who work with children shouldn't need a scripted program to guide us in working with children. A scripted program is only good until the next program comes along. And we all know that is about as long as it takes an administrator to go to a new conference and come back with free introductory offers.
Our latest ...mandate? ... is kids who get in trouble more often will be assigned an adult to check in with them every morning and every afternoon, to hear the child's goals and then to see if they met them. Apparently, our PBIS team heard children do better if they know an adult cares about them. So, to show these chosen kids we care, they will bring a piece of paper with goals written on them, and the assigned adult will sign the paper each day. Because... you know... data tracking.
I want to climb on the highest roof top and scream, "You seriously need a program to tell you kids do better if they know you care?!!!!"
Are teachers are so bogged down with every other "program in an app", that they no longer have the God given ability to know a child needs a couple extra minutes of their time, nor do they feel they have the time to devote to touch base? Really?
And why do we not even mention the elephant in the room? How many administrators does it take to ensure and maintain data points? Could some of that money be spent on more counselor time in every building?
Education majors need training in relating with children. Educators need training in working with kids in crisis. But we are not counselors. We need to be part of the care team and we need to stop hiding behind "privacy rights" and "right to know". I'm sorry, but if a child is acting out because a parent is in jail, or a family member is sick, we need to know. Children often don't have words for what they are dealing with, and giving them a sticker or a dojo point because they hold it together for a morning doesn't help them deal with the emotion. And if they aren't dealing with the emotion, we are all --kids, peers, and adults, paying the price.
The solution isn't a new program or data point-- tracked but forgotten. The solution is common sense, and the bravery to do what is not easy, but instead what is right.
Unfortunately, I don't think there is a Common Sense booth at any conference attended by any administrator.
And even if there was, I'm not sure any administrator would stop to talk to the vendor.
Monday, March 20, 2017
No More Excuses
I have read the article about "That Kid" several times. Teachers love to share it and show how they have sympathy for what parents may be feeling. I get it. There is so much we can't tell the other parents.
BUT
We have to stop making excuses to the detriment of the rest of the kids. Kids with physical challenges and emotional challenges shouldn't be shoved in a classroom and forgotten. Absolutely not! But it is also wrong to shove them in a classroom with a single teacher, who must accommodate all learning abilities while struggling to keep kids safe from the child who is having a melt down on a regular basis. It is WRONG for parents who trust schools to keep their kids safe, to not be informed of the risks and concerns posed by having those kids in the same class. To indignantly defend the rights of those kids is to invalidate the rights of the kids who do behave. Kids shouldn't think it is normal to have to work in a classroom where things are thrown and threats are levied. Parents shouldn't be told that things are being handled when we are doing nothing.
If we are to teach understanding, we need to brainstorm ways to accommodate challenges without sacrificing the safety and learning of all students.
*Inclusion at specific times rather than all day is an option.
*Recruiting volunteers to help is an option.
*Being a training ground for future teachers is an option.
*Requiring parents to be involved and part of the solution is an option.
*Hiring more staff.
I'm sure there are many, many other options.
These aggressive behaviors are becoming the norm and the longer they are allowed to continue, the more difficult the learning community will become. The more the behaviors we see in schools today become the norm, the more angry and violent society as a whole will become.
It is not OK.
There are parents of those kids that are doing the best they can.
However there are more parents contributing to the behaviors of those kids.
School should be a safe place where rules are enforced and expectations are high. Excusing behavior doesn't help That Kid and it definitely doesn't help those in his or her sphere of influence.
We owe kids more.
All kids deserve more.
BUT
We have to stop making excuses to the detriment of the rest of the kids. Kids with physical challenges and emotional challenges shouldn't be shoved in a classroom and forgotten. Absolutely not! But it is also wrong to shove them in a classroom with a single teacher, who must accommodate all learning abilities while struggling to keep kids safe from the child who is having a melt down on a regular basis. It is WRONG for parents who trust schools to keep their kids safe, to not be informed of the risks and concerns posed by having those kids in the same class. To indignantly defend the rights of those kids is to invalidate the rights of the kids who do behave. Kids shouldn't think it is normal to have to work in a classroom where things are thrown and threats are levied. Parents shouldn't be told that things are being handled when we are doing nothing.
If we are to teach understanding, we need to brainstorm ways to accommodate challenges without sacrificing the safety and learning of all students.
*Inclusion at specific times rather than all day is an option.
*Recruiting volunteers to help is an option.
*Being a training ground for future teachers is an option.
*Requiring parents to be involved and part of the solution is an option.
*Hiring more staff.
I'm sure there are many, many other options.
These aggressive behaviors are becoming the norm and the longer they are allowed to continue, the more difficult the learning community will become. The more the behaviors we see in schools today become the norm, the more angry and violent society as a whole will become.
It is not OK.
There are parents of those kids that are doing the best they can.
However there are more parents contributing to the behaviors of those kids.
School should be a safe place where rules are enforced and expectations are high. Excusing behavior doesn't help That Kid and it definitely doesn't help those in his or her sphere of influence.
We owe kids more.
All kids deserve more.
Friday, March 10, 2017
Communication
The full moon isn't until Sunday.
I checked because today definitely had that "full moon" feeling to it. Kids picking at each other and retaliating when that someone picks back. You know, general crankiness. But driving home from picking older son up from college, I started thinking about communication and the lack of skill in communication.
Kids at school have fewer and fewer skills in relation to communication. They want what they want and they want it now. I realize this has always been true to a degree, but they have eventually learned that there is give and take in life. This is no longer the case.
Today, in school, they have "turn and talk" but it has to be on the topic at hand. Kids have to utilize technology at school and parents choose to use it as a babysitter for their children and a way of self-medicating for themselves. Children no longer discuss books, they respond to a prompt concerning what they wrote. There are no conversations around the dinner table or while driving in the car. Even a 5 minute ride to school in the car has children watching the built in TV instead of engaging in conversation.
Recess is a thing of the past and those schools that do have recess have a short amount of time. We intervene at the slightest hint of disagreement because we are worried about escalation that will lead to someone getting hurt. There is always a parent who will call and complain if their child gets a scratch, so we impose rules with lawyers, not children, in mind.
Parents orchestrate their children's lives out of necessity of time and a society that has actual stranger predators who seek to do harm.
When are children not monitored by an adult who halts difficult situations?
And now we have adults who are on college campuses who refuse to listen. We have celebrities and politicians and pundits who believe whoever talks loudest wins the argument. They want what they want when they want it. Everyone is so busy yelling and repeating themselves and getting into the role of indignant and oppressed that they don't stop to hear the words the other person is speaking.
Are the choices really WIN or lose for most things? Is there no middle ground on most subjects? How will kids learn how to communicate if there are no role models on how it's done? If it takes a village to raise a child, then this global village better start listening at least half as much as they strive to be heard.
If anything is a matter of life and death the need to communicate effectively is it.
I checked because today definitely had that "full moon" feeling to it. Kids picking at each other and retaliating when that someone picks back. You know, general crankiness. But driving home from picking older son up from college, I started thinking about communication and the lack of skill in communication.
Kids at school have fewer and fewer skills in relation to communication. They want what they want and they want it now. I realize this has always been true to a degree, but they have eventually learned that there is give and take in life. This is no longer the case.
Today, in school, they have "turn and talk" but it has to be on the topic at hand. Kids have to utilize technology at school and parents choose to use it as a babysitter for their children and a way of self-medicating for themselves. Children no longer discuss books, they respond to a prompt concerning what they wrote. There are no conversations around the dinner table or while driving in the car. Even a 5 minute ride to school in the car has children watching the built in TV instead of engaging in conversation.
Recess is a thing of the past and those schools that do have recess have a short amount of time. We intervene at the slightest hint of disagreement because we are worried about escalation that will lead to someone getting hurt. There is always a parent who will call and complain if their child gets a scratch, so we impose rules with lawyers, not children, in mind.
Parents orchestrate their children's lives out of necessity of time and a society that has actual stranger predators who seek to do harm.
When are children not monitored by an adult who halts difficult situations?
And now we have adults who are on college campuses who refuse to listen. We have celebrities and politicians and pundits who believe whoever talks loudest wins the argument. They want what they want when they want it. Everyone is so busy yelling and repeating themselves and getting into the role of indignant and oppressed that they don't stop to hear the words the other person is speaking.
Are the choices really WIN or lose for most things? Is there no middle ground on most subjects? How will kids learn how to communicate if there are no role models on how it's done? If it takes a village to raise a child, then this global village better start listening at least half as much as they strive to be heard.
If anything is a matter of life and death the need to communicate effectively is it.
Thursday, March 9, 2017
My Biggest Anxiety
I can't stand the phone. To be more precise-- I can't stand talking on the phone. ( I will text all day long.) Not to make appointments. Not to find out information. Not to talk to family or friends. If I actually do have to make a phone call, I have to plan out what I'm going to say, what I think the other person will say, and how I will respond before I pick up the phone.
It wasn't always this way. In High School, I may have caused my parents to add call waiting to our phone.
But now I have mini panic attacks if the phone rings-- even if I recognize the number. Sometimes I will even let it go to voice mail so I can decide if I need to call back or if it is possible to answer in a text or e-mail.
I just can't stand hearing voices and not having the body language to go with it. Even if it it is to be a difficult conversation, I would rather it be face to face or in writing.
Am I the only one?
It wasn't always this way. In High School, I may have caused my parents to add call waiting to our phone.
But now I have mini panic attacks if the phone rings-- even if I recognize the number. Sometimes I will even let it go to voice mail so I can decide if I need to call back or if it is possible to answer in a text or e-mail.
I just can't stand hearing voices and not having the body language to go with it. Even if it it is to be a difficult conversation, I would rather it be face to face or in writing.
Am I the only one?
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
Elephant in my School
Elephants abound in our school.
We had a two hour delay day in which the topic was "the purpose and expectations of collaboration." This was continued at our usual 1/2 hour delay Monday morning meeting the next Monday. And the 1/2 hour delay yesterday. (by the way our 1/2 delay usually takes 45 minutes which gets staff to class 5 minutes before the kids are allowed in.)
So. We spent 3 hours discussing "how to collaborate." We are a school of about 350 kids K-6 including fuctional life and preschool. 2 of each grade level. The grade level teachers talk all the time. For the most part, they plan together. The big honking elephant in our school is not how to plan together. The problem in our school is we are not a team. We are individuals and cliques. We are people who have been told we can't discuss one thing or another due to "privacy issues" when in fact it is due to administrator control issues.
Does anyone have meetings that make sense?
Why is it so hard for administrators to actually seek solutions with the kids in mind and from those responsible for working with them involved?
No one has THE answer. Administrators need to be leaders.
Listen to concerns spoken and implied
Educate all involved about the basis and reason for decisions
Ask questions to fully understand the problems at hand
Determine the best direction in resolving issues
Engage the team in determining solutions
Respect differing opinions
Seek success as a team
Am I asking for too much?
We had a two hour delay day in which the topic was "the purpose and expectations of collaboration." This was continued at our usual 1/2 hour delay Monday morning meeting the next Monday. And the 1/2 hour delay yesterday. (by the way our 1/2 delay usually takes 45 minutes which gets staff to class 5 minutes before the kids are allowed in.)
So. We spent 3 hours discussing "how to collaborate." We are a school of about 350 kids K-6 including fuctional life and preschool. 2 of each grade level. The grade level teachers talk all the time. For the most part, they plan together. The big honking elephant in our school is not how to plan together. The problem in our school is we are not a team. We are individuals and cliques. We are people who have been told we can't discuss one thing or another due to "privacy issues" when in fact it is due to administrator control issues.
Does anyone have meetings that make sense?
Why is it so hard for administrators to actually seek solutions with the kids in mind and from those responsible for working with them involved?
No one has THE answer. Administrators need to be leaders.
Listen to concerns spoken and implied
Educate all involved about the basis and reason for decisions
Ask questions to fully understand the problems at hand
Determine the best direction in resolving issues
Engage the team in determining solutions
Respect differing opinions
Seek success as a team
Am I asking for too much?
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Stop Secrecy
Yesterday at our weekly half hour delay meeting, we had our annual "test taking procedures and protocols" presentation. Many of you probably have something similar. And even though we don't take the tests til Spring, and will have another training closer to the test, we still have to sit through the presentation, read a bunch of stuff, and sign that we have done so. As I was sitting there it was emphasized more than in the past that we are not to discuss the test.
Not only can we not discuss the test, teachers will need to tell kids not to discuss the test with anyone -- not even parents. And a letter will go home asking parents not to ask their kids about the test.
Schools are on a "need to know basis." "That's confidential." is the education motto. We can't know if a child is identified, or what their home life is, or what their behavior history is. We are not supposed to mention a child by name or discuss a situation with which we are having difficulty except with those in authority who have a need to know.
Profiling is forbidden because it segregates people negatively. If someone commits a crime we shouldn't describe them by height, weight, sex, or ethnicity.
Dramatically speaking, is it ever OK to tell a child to not tell their parent something? The Christmas ornament is going to be a surprise not a secret. The mother's day hand print is a surprise... not a secret.
If I know a child is identified, then I know there may be other techniques I can use to help him or her to understanding. If I know a child used to live in a car, or that dad is in jail, or grandma has custody, it gives me an understanding of where the behavior stems and I can use that information to gain understanding and coach them through the emotion.
If you are telling someone how to get to your house they need to know what roads to take, land marks along the way, and oh, yeah, whether your house is one or two stories, if it has a driveway, and maybe the color of the house and what the yard looks like. Shouldn't the same be true when describing people?
We are not all the same. We should not strive to all be the same. It seems to me all the secrecy has created less safety. It has created more shame than pride. It has created more tension than togetherness.
We have special needs in our building. Of course I can't tell you what kind, but I can tell you how beautifully the Kindergartners adapt. After the first week or two Bob was just Bob and not "Bob who blahablahblah." It is we adults ( and the lawyers who are always ready, willing, and able to sue) who muck things up in order to prove we are above labels.
But kindergartners are tested on their ability to sort things into categories. Friends for them tend to fall into two categories -- "those who are nice to me and those who are mean". Period.
Knowledge is power and as educators I would hope we could use our powers for good. I can't be the only one who thinks we, not only as educators, but as human beings, need to advocate for what is best for children. A child who is blahblahblah and prone to blahblahblah needs blahblah in order to be his or her best self. Secrecy leads to needless struggle for Bob and a school career constantly disrupted for notBobs.
Seeking information in order to understand is not gossip. It is not "labeling". It is not harmful.
Let's embrace our uniqueness and teach others to do so as well.
If you don't like women in their late 40's
who have brown eyes and brown hair that they like to wear long so they can pull it up
and are of German, English, and Native American heritage
and who love to read and discuss book,
are not great cooks but an OK bakers
who like to research genealogy
who have a thought to be an education activist when the youngest graduates
who married their high school sweet heart
who's said husband is of German and Polish heritage
who has two boys who are wicked smart and nerdy
who chose to be a breast feeding, cloth diaper using, no pacifier using, stay at home mom
who has a college degree from Purdue
who is to heavy for her 5'3" frame
then you don't have to be my friend or even like me.
But I will wave and say hi if I see you. And if we get a chance to talk I may find out that 80's rock is your favorite music too.
"And I said - well that's -- one thing we've got"
(I realize this is from a '90's song) ;-)Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Teacher Game Show
"Hey Teacher! Come on down! You're the next contestant on This Student Needs Help."
"You have a student who is an only child, young compared to the others in your class, and whines all day because he does not get what he wants. What are the top 5 ways to improve his behavior?"
You consult your team mates and the answers come fast and furious...
Call parent to inform of child's behavior..... number 5 slides open. Ding!
Ask child to do something for you so he feels important...number 3-Ding!
Create a sticker chart where you give him a sticker every time he doesn't whine. ... number 2 slides open. Ding
Start tracking time of day and location of whining so you can be proactive about the whining and head it off before it begins... number 4. Ding!
With time running out your group leader blurts out, " Have a sticker chart that allows him to earn a prize from the prize box for every two stickers he earns so the reward is immediate." ...number 1!!!!! Ding!!!
It is now the next team's turn.
"Are you ready?" the announcer asks? "Ok. You have a student who doesn't do their homework. Is often off task. She disrupts the class by blurting out constantly and also has frequent angry outbursts. She is learning little if anything and is disrupting the learning of the other students. How do you get her on track so she can learn and the other students feel safe?"
The other team huddles briefly then answer confidently...
Call parent to inform of child's behavior..... number 5 slides open. Ding!
Ask child to do something for you so she feels important...number 3-Ding!
Create a sticker chart where you give her a sticker every time she stays on task ... number 4 slides open. Ding
Start tracking time of day and location of outbursts so you can be proactive about the outburst and head it off before it begins... number 2. Ding!
With time running out, their group leader says, " Have a sticker chart that allows her to earn a prize from the prize box for every three stickers she earns so the reward is immediate." ...number 1!!!!! Ding!!!
The game ends and everyone is a winner!!!
And everyone is a loser because --
There is no quick fix. There is no magic bullet. There is no magic wand.
Teachers can be the entire pit crew of a formula 1 racing team.
They used to be specially made and hand crafted.
Teachers can be Merlin and Houdini rolled into one.
They need to be, because kids need to learn to function in a world that isn't fair. No one's life is perfect. And even those in terrible conditions have occasional slivers of sun.
There used to be an art to teaching.
Now there is a script.
Teachers found ways to connect with their students so they could know how to reach them.
Now they document behavior to- generate- data- that- will- inform- decisions -made- by -a- committee -that- may- or- may- not- ever -interact -with- the- child.
Teachers found ways to weave incidental events into their plans.
Now they can't stray from the script lest they be reprimanded for failing to follow the pacing guide.
There used to be solid ground to stand on. And older teachers will tell you things come back around.
But it seems as though the solid ground has been placed on a roiling sea.
Those people who may or may not ever see our student, attend conferences by phone or in person. They scroll through their network of colleagues who also haven't been in a classroom in years. They read trade magazines written by scientifically based people in their hermetically sealed labs who expound on the virtues of having today's student learning XYZ -- to be sure they are prepared for that magical world known as college and career ready. And those people who don't know our kids, don't know our community, and in many cases don't know us, make decisions that change with the seasons in an attempt to be the first to discover THE way to teach the kids in rural Kansas to know the same things as the child in urban Minnesota, and they will both know the same as the suburban child in Connecticut.
Because differences need to be eradicated while at the same time celebrated -- as long as the celebration is in context. If you know what I mean.
Fair. Equal. Same. These are words that relate to manufactured cookies.
But we aim to please so...
We make excuses where we should make clear our expectations.
We standardize in our attempt to differentiate.
We sympathize when we should empathize.
And that's why we will be there for the next episode of "This Student Needs Help."
And we will clap when the number one answer is "... to pick from the prize box." Because as you know, every child responds to a trip to the prize box.
And if not, he can always earn a trip to the Bigger and Better prize box.
Maybe I should buy stock in stickers.
"You have a student who is an only child, young compared to the others in your class, and whines all day because he does not get what he wants. What are the top 5 ways to improve his behavior?"
You consult your team mates and the answers come fast and furious...
Call parent to inform of child's behavior..... number 5 slides open. Ding!
Ask child to do something for you so he feels important...number 3-Ding!
Create a sticker chart where you give him a sticker every time he doesn't whine. ... number 2 slides open. Ding
Start tracking time of day and location of whining so you can be proactive about the whining and head it off before it begins... number 4. Ding!
With time running out your group leader blurts out, " Have a sticker chart that allows him to earn a prize from the prize box for every two stickers he earns so the reward is immediate." ...number 1!!!!! Ding!!!
It is now the next team's turn.
"Are you ready?" the announcer asks? "Ok. You have a student who doesn't do their homework. Is often off task. She disrupts the class by blurting out constantly and also has frequent angry outbursts. She is learning little if anything and is disrupting the learning of the other students. How do you get her on track so she can learn and the other students feel safe?"
The other team huddles briefly then answer confidently...
Call parent to inform of child's behavior..... number 5 slides open. Ding!
Ask child to do something for you so she feels important...number 3-Ding!
Create a sticker chart where you give her a sticker every time she stays on task ... number 4 slides open. Ding
Start tracking time of day and location of outbursts so you can be proactive about the outburst and head it off before it begins... number 2. Ding!
With time running out, their group leader says, " Have a sticker chart that allows her to earn a prize from the prize box for every three stickers she earns so the reward is immediate." ...number 1!!!!! Ding!!!
The game ends and everyone is a winner!!!
And everyone is a loser because --
There is no quick fix. There is no magic bullet. There is no magic wand.
Teachers can be the entire pit crew of a formula 1 racing team.
They used to be specially made and hand crafted.
Teachers can be Merlin and Houdini rolled into one.
They need to be, because kids need to learn to function in a world that isn't fair. No one's life is perfect. And even those in terrible conditions have occasional slivers of sun.
There used to be an art to teaching.
Now there is a script.
Teachers found ways to connect with their students so they could know how to reach them.
Now they document behavior to- generate- data- that- will- inform- decisions -made- by -a- committee -that- may- or- may- not- ever -interact -with- the- child.
Teachers found ways to weave incidental events into their plans.
Now they can't stray from the script lest they be reprimanded for failing to follow the pacing guide.
There used to be solid ground to stand on. And older teachers will tell you things come back around.
But it seems as though the solid ground has been placed on a roiling sea.
Those people who may or may not ever see our student, attend conferences by phone or in person. They scroll through their network of colleagues who also haven't been in a classroom in years. They read trade magazines written by scientifically based people in their hermetically sealed labs who expound on the virtues of having today's student learning XYZ -- to be sure they are prepared for that magical world known as college and career ready. And those people who don't know our kids, don't know our community, and in many cases don't know us, make decisions that change with the seasons in an attempt to be the first to discover THE way to teach the kids in rural Kansas to know the same things as the child in urban Minnesota, and they will both know the same as the suburban child in Connecticut.
Because differences need to be eradicated while at the same time celebrated -- as long as the celebration is in context. If you know what I mean.
Fair. Equal. Same. These are words that relate to manufactured cookies.
But we aim to please so...
We make excuses where we should make clear our expectations.
We standardize in our attempt to differentiate.
We sympathize when we should empathize.
And that's why we will be there for the next episode of "This Student Needs Help."
And we will clap when the number one answer is "... to pick from the prize box." Because as you know, every child responds to a trip to the prize box.
And if not, he can always earn a trip to the Bigger and Better prize box.
Maybe I should buy stock in stickers.
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
What is and what should be
Susie in Mrs. L's 2nd grade class. She reads at a level G. She can recognize numbers to 100 and can add and subtract single digit numbers. She has a behavior chart on her desk and gets a sticker if she stays on task for 15 minutes. She is in the RTI process.
or
Susie is a 7 year old little girl in Mrs. L's 2nd grade class. Her birthday is next week and she can't wait. She says she is getting a puppy because her Aunt Betty's dog had puppies and her mom said she can have one. Susie's mom and dad divorced when she was 3 and her dad and his girlfriend just had a baby boy. Susie's mom works second shift at a factory so Susie goes to day care after school. Mom wakes her and her 9 year old sister up from the baby sitter and she goes back to sleep at home until it is time to get up for school in the morning. I could go on and on.
This Susie is made up to illustrate what school is and what it should be. Susie is more than the numbers on a Dibels, a score on a test, or a reading level. She is a living, breathing person with hopes and thoughts and feelings. Being 7 doesn't negate that fact. Being little doesn't negate that. Being in school doesn't negate that fact.
When I was in High School, I had my future professions narrowed down to teacher, librarian, or child psychologist. I knew for sure I wanted to work with kids, I just wasn't sure in what capacity. I chose teaching, but I realized after working with kids in a camp setting, that working with kids in a recreational environment is what I wanted.
In working with the y, I was able to listen to their hopes and fears. I was able to laugh hysterically, be goofy with them, and dry their tears. I was able to take the time to really listen to them and acknowledge their personhood.
When I first started working as an instructional assistant, I brought those skills with me and they were appreciated. I was able to take the time to calm a crying, angry, upset child and set them on the road to better choices while the teacher taught the rest of the class. Now ten years later, those teachers that respected me and treated me as an equal and a valuable member of the team, have been replaced by teachers new to the profession who earned their degrees in an era of data, extreme accountability, and endless reforms.
Today I am treated as someone who is there to serve the teacher -- an assembly line widget turner. Last year I was told I should do as I was told and shut up about it. Today I was told I needed to "refrain from side conversations because the kids need to get back to the group as quickly as possible."
I understand teachers have a lot of pressure to produce numbers for the higher ups to plug into spread sheets to submit to the politicians. I also understand there needs to be some accountability. However, everyone can agree behavior incidents are rising. Schools are spending money to "pay" kids to behave. Our district has chosen PBIS. We have spent nearly a thousand dollars on incentives this year and today was only day 10.
I wonder if we remembered these are small people -- many with big issues -- and took the time to acknowledge they are more than the numbers entered into the computer, if the behaviors would decrease? In the end would they prefer we remembered they were getting that puppy for their birthday and asked how training it was going, or would they rather have the sticker for sitting criss, cross, apple sauce by the time we count to ten?
or
Susie is a 7 year old little girl in Mrs. L's 2nd grade class. Her birthday is next week and she can't wait. She says she is getting a puppy because her Aunt Betty's dog had puppies and her mom said she can have one. Susie's mom and dad divorced when she was 3 and her dad and his girlfriend just had a baby boy. Susie's mom works second shift at a factory so Susie goes to day care after school. Mom wakes her and her 9 year old sister up from the baby sitter and she goes back to sleep at home until it is time to get up for school in the morning. I could go on and on.
This Susie is made up to illustrate what school is and what it should be. Susie is more than the numbers on a Dibels, a score on a test, or a reading level. She is a living, breathing person with hopes and thoughts and feelings. Being 7 doesn't negate that fact. Being little doesn't negate that. Being in school doesn't negate that fact.
When I was in High School, I had my future professions narrowed down to teacher, librarian, or child psychologist. I knew for sure I wanted to work with kids, I just wasn't sure in what capacity. I chose teaching, but I realized after working with kids in a camp setting, that working with kids in a recreational environment is what I wanted.
In working with the y, I was able to listen to their hopes and fears. I was able to laugh hysterically, be goofy with them, and dry their tears. I was able to take the time to really listen to them and acknowledge their personhood.
When I first started working as an instructional assistant, I brought those skills with me and they were appreciated. I was able to take the time to calm a crying, angry, upset child and set them on the road to better choices while the teacher taught the rest of the class. Now ten years later, those teachers that respected me and treated me as an equal and a valuable member of the team, have been replaced by teachers new to the profession who earned their degrees in an era of data, extreme accountability, and endless reforms.
Today I am treated as someone who is there to serve the teacher -- an assembly line widget turner. Last year I was told I should do as I was told and shut up about it. Today I was told I needed to "refrain from side conversations because the kids need to get back to the group as quickly as possible."
I understand teachers have a lot of pressure to produce numbers for the higher ups to plug into spread sheets to submit to the politicians. I also understand there needs to be some accountability. However, everyone can agree behavior incidents are rising. Schools are spending money to "pay" kids to behave. Our district has chosen PBIS. We have spent nearly a thousand dollars on incentives this year and today was only day 10.
I wonder if we remembered these are small people -- many with big issues -- and took the time to acknowledge they are more than the numbers entered into the computer, if the behaviors would decrease? In the end would they prefer we remembered they were getting that puppy for their birthday and asked how training it was going, or would they rather have the sticker for sitting criss, cross, apple sauce by the time we count to ten?
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