I got interested in knowing more about my history when making a scrapbook for my parent's 50th anniversary. I found out the names of my grandmother's birth parents and I was hooked. I joined Ancestry.com and began the journey to my roots.
14 years later I continue to find at least 2 questions for any answer.
Both of my parents are gone now. My mom was the last of her generation and I found stories she had no idea existed. I have recently started trying to find people from other branches that are the age of myself or my older siblings to try to connect dots.
This is where the question of detective vs stalker comes in.
In doing the research, in order to build a family tree, you consult census records, birth, marriage, and death certificates. You read obituaries to find out about the people so they become more than just a date. And you read about the married last names of female children.
Thanks to the internet, finding people is easier. All you need to do is input a name into Google. You narrow choices by location. Possible relatives are often listed along with address and phone numbers. Then you can go to fb and input a name. Often locations are mentioned. Then you can check their friends lists and see if you recognize any other names from your research and if so, you can message them.
I've messaged a few people. And a few of them have responded. Two have asked how I found them.
I had just been really impressed with my detective skills. I hadn't thought about how it sounded until I thought about the process. Now it feels a little stalkerish. And frankly, it's kind of scary to think how easy it is to be found.
Now I'm feeling a little hesitant about contacting strangers out of the blue. I try to asuage their potential fears by telling them about myself and how I think we are connected. But still...
I'm not sure how I would respond. Or if I would respond.
Hopefully intent is the final arbiter, because I would hate to be a stalker.
Tuesday, December 13, 2016
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
Ask a question -- Get an answer?
There is a phrase that comes from Stephen Covey - "Seek first to understand-- then to be understood."
For me, the problem is I can't find anyone to answer the questions I have.
You see, although I have worked as an instructional assistant at an elementary for the last 10 years, my previous vocation was that of YMCA Child Care and Day Camp Director. I live and breathe: Spirit, Mind, and Body, so what I am exposed to every day goes against every fiber of my soul and I want to understand how and why it is the way it is.
I live in Indiana. The evil state where the evil Mike Pence was mean to the saintly Glenda Ritz. I realize that tone is sarcastic, but this is what friends, colleagues, and strangers I admire seem to have been saying for the last 4 years. I would like to know what it was that Ms. Ritz could have done had she "been allowed to"? Honestly the only thing anyone has ever talked about is how Pence tried to marginalize her power. I never read what she wanted to do but wasn't allowed to do.
I've heard forever how awful No Child Left Behind was. I've done research and all I seem to come up with is that teachers didn't like the accountability standards. But NCLB didn't rate teachers on students test scores. It took many years of a school "failing" before the government stepped in. And the main goal was to ensure schools in areas that served accademicaly and socio-economic disadvantaged people weren't shoved aside and over looked. Charter schools were an option for individuals over a failing school. When it was reauthorized in 2008 and Obama created Race to the Top, THEN teachers were held accountable for students scores. There was a rubric that awarded points to states adopting common core. Significant points. Points were also awarded to states that increased charter schools.
http://www.edweek.org/media/racetoppointssystem.pdf
Of course money was attatched, so of course states jumped on the band wagon.
Now we have Every Student Succeeds. While it says it gives states more freedom it still seems to have strict guidelines.
https://www.edweek.org/ew/issues/every-student-succeeds-act/
However, people on social media still link everything to No Child Left Behind and George Bush. And now the incoming Federal DOE Betsy De Voss is being villainized for giving money to charter schools. Race to the top required it. I'm not saying she is the right pick or that there aren't people out there who have taught who would be better, but her support of charter schools seems to be of equal concern. I have seen people "with experience" become administrators and that experience seems to have done little to improve the overall state of education.
I also read how people blame the states for testing. In Indiana, am I right in saying that IStep is the big high stakes test and each district is responsible for beginning of the year, middle of the year, and end of the year progress monitoring? And am I further correct when I say that districts may choose which "progress monitoring" assessment they wish to use, but the assessments are based on pacing guides devised by districts based on state standards? Why then, in our school are we constantly "assessing"? The teachers honestly have to do assessments every week and log and report data or they get in trouble.
Everyone talks about rigor when it comes to educational standards. We have all read the definition of rigor and how it is an awful word to apply to education because "rigor" tends to mean more difficult. So much so that Kindergartners are now required to listen to 3 different stories and talk about how they are similar. They are required to write responses to stories. They are working on the "dr" blend in December. Is this because they have mastered short vowels, discussed silent e, and know all their word families? No. It's simply what is next on the pacing guide.
If grades K-2 are considered the "learning to read years" because from 3rd grade on they are "reading to learn", then why are they being assessed on story retell and knowing plot, setting, characters, and beginning, middle, and end? If we want kids to love reading, how does endless quizzing foster that love? If we want to foster inquiry how do folders raised on desks so no one peeks foster that?
Why do teachers, when they know what they are teaching is not developmentally appropriate, continue to accept the mandates? We need the job, I get it. But we complain that parents don't attend Parent/ Teacher conferences. We complain that parents aren't involved. Aren't we just as bad?
I don't go to school board meetings because they don't care if I am there or not. I have no say in policy or procedure. Half the time, because there are no mics in front of the board members, the audience can't hear what is being discussed. Is that how parents feel about being involved in school? Is that feeling justified?
The powers that be pull out studies that show the latest and greatest in how rigor boosts test scores. We can all pull out studies that show mental health issues among young children are increasing, how basic motor skills are decreasing, and violence against others -- even at the youngest ages--is on the rise. Can we really say it can be fixed by having "Starbuck" style seating in our classes, or wiggle chairs, or pedal desks? Is a 5 minute "brain break" with a Go Noodle really adequate for a 5 or 6 or 7 or frankly 8, 9, 10 year old to relieve stress, move their bodies, and rest their brains? To whom does this make sense?
Why is it OK to mainstream special needs kids without providing adequate supports? Teachers have special needs kids in class whether or not they have credentials to teach special needs kids. Physical disorders are not given the attention they need and behavior disorders are allowed to affect not only the individual child's education but that of every other individual as well, simply because they can cognitively function in a gen ed classroom? Why do we not assign a label of dyslexia for the reason that we would then have to provide the specific skills and resources required to help rather than the regular resources given the student who is not dyslexic? And why are teachers allowed to believe that giving a child a resource, like being allowed to write in cursive ( in hopes the studies that show cursive can be better for dyslexics) is a "privelage" the child has not earned based on the child's poor behavior choices?
I have other examples and questions to help me understand why the state of education is the way it is and why it's OK, but I will save them for another day because this has been long enough already. But I really do want to know the answers. I want to understand the other side so I can address the strength of my convictions. I want a dialogue. My friends in education agree with me on most things but feel helpless to change any thing. The administration is all about staff being team players-- which means agree or go somewhere else.
So tell me... How do you feel about education? Why do you feel Common Core is amazing? Why are charter schools the demise of public education? Why do we fail to address the whole child -- Spirit, Mind, and Body? What exactly do you think is a way to organize to make the changes you see being necessary to be sure every child really is successful?
I want a conversation.
I really want to understand.
For me, the problem is I can't find anyone to answer the questions I have.
You see, although I have worked as an instructional assistant at an elementary for the last 10 years, my previous vocation was that of YMCA Child Care and Day Camp Director. I live and breathe: Spirit, Mind, and Body, so what I am exposed to every day goes against every fiber of my soul and I want to understand how and why it is the way it is.
I live in Indiana. The evil state where the evil Mike Pence was mean to the saintly Glenda Ritz. I realize that tone is sarcastic, but this is what friends, colleagues, and strangers I admire seem to have been saying for the last 4 years. I would like to know what it was that Ms. Ritz could have done had she "been allowed to"? Honestly the only thing anyone has ever talked about is how Pence tried to marginalize her power. I never read what she wanted to do but wasn't allowed to do.
I've heard forever how awful No Child Left Behind was. I've done research and all I seem to come up with is that teachers didn't like the accountability standards. But NCLB didn't rate teachers on students test scores. It took many years of a school "failing" before the government stepped in. And the main goal was to ensure schools in areas that served accademicaly and socio-economic disadvantaged people weren't shoved aside and over looked. Charter schools were an option for individuals over a failing school. When it was reauthorized in 2008 and Obama created Race to the Top, THEN teachers were held accountable for students scores. There was a rubric that awarded points to states adopting common core. Significant points. Points were also awarded to states that increased charter schools.
http://www.edweek.org/media/racetoppointssystem.pdf
Of course money was attatched, so of course states jumped on the band wagon.
Now we have Every Student Succeeds. While it says it gives states more freedom it still seems to have strict guidelines.
https://www.edweek.org/ew/issues/every-student-succeeds-act/
However, people on social media still link everything to No Child Left Behind and George Bush. And now the incoming Federal DOE Betsy De Voss is being villainized for giving money to charter schools. Race to the top required it. I'm not saying she is the right pick or that there aren't people out there who have taught who would be better, but her support of charter schools seems to be of equal concern. I have seen people "with experience" become administrators and that experience seems to have done little to improve the overall state of education.
I also read how people blame the states for testing. In Indiana, am I right in saying that IStep is the big high stakes test and each district is responsible for beginning of the year, middle of the year, and end of the year progress monitoring? And am I further correct when I say that districts may choose which "progress monitoring" assessment they wish to use, but the assessments are based on pacing guides devised by districts based on state standards? Why then, in our school are we constantly "assessing"? The teachers honestly have to do assessments every week and log and report data or they get in trouble.
Everyone talks about rigor when it comes to educational standards. We have all read the definition of rigor and how it is an awful word to apply to education because "rigor" tends to mean more difficult. So much so that Kindergartners are now required to listen to 3 different stories and talk about how they are similar. They are required to write responses to stories. They are working on the "dr" blend in December. Is this because they have mastered short vowels, discussed silent e, and know all their word families? No. It's simply what is next on the pacing guide.
If grades K-2 are considered the "learning to read years" because from 3rd grade on they are "reading to learn", then why are they being assessed on story retell and knowing plot, setting, characters, and beginning, middle, and end? If we want kids to love reading, how does endless quizzing foster that love? If we want to foster inquiry how do folders raised on desks so no one peeks foster that?
Why do teachers, when they know what they are teaching is not developmentally appropriate, continue to accept the mandates? We need the job, I get it. But we complain that parents don't attend Parent/ Teacher conferences. We complain that parents aren't involved. Aren't we just as bad?
I don't go to school board meetings because they don't care if I am there or not. I have no say in policy or procedure. Half the time, because there are no mics in front of the board members, the audience can't hear what is being discussed. Is that how parents feel about being involved in school? Is that feeling justified?
The powers that be pull out studies that show the latest and greatest in how rigor boosts test scores. We can all pull out studies that show mental health issues among young children are increasing, how basic motor skills are decreasing, and violence against others -- even at the youngest ages--is on the rise. Can we really say it can be fixed by having "Starbuck" style seating in our classes, or wiggle chairs, or pedal desks? Is a 5 minute "brain break" with a Go Noodle really adequate for a 5 or 6 or 7 or frankly 8, 9, 10 year old to relieve stress, move their bodies, and rest their brains? To whom does this make sense?
Why is it OK to mainstream special needs kids without providing adequate supports? Teachers have special needs kids in class whether or not they have credentials to teach special needs kids. Physical disorders are not given the attention they need and behavior disorders are allowed to affect not only the individual child's education but that of every other individual as well, simply because they can cognitively function in a gen ed classroom? Why do we not assign a label of dyslexia for the reason that we would then have to provide the specific skills and resources required to help rather than the regular resources given the student who is not dyslexic? And why are teachers allowed to believe that giving a child a resource, like being allowed to write in cursive ( in hopes the studies that show cursive can be better for dyslexics) is a "privelage" the child has not earned based on the child's poor behavior choices?
I have other examples and questions to help me understand why the state of education is the way it is and why it's OK, but I will save them for another day because this has been long enough already. But I really do want to know the answers. I want to understand the other side so I can address the strength of my convictions. I want a dialogue. My friends in education agree with me on most things but feel helpless to change any thing. The administration is all about staff being team players-- which means agree or go somewhere else.
So tell me... How do you feel about education? Why do you feel Common Core is amazing? Why are charter schools the demise of public education? Why do we fail to address the whole child -- Spirit, Mind, and Body? What exactly do you think is a way to organize to make the changes you see being necessary to be sure every child really is successful?
I want a conversation.
I really want to understand.
Sunday, November 20, 2016
Woefully behind
I had good intentions of writing every day what I am thankful for, but exhaustion and life have gotten in the way.
I can't promise the next days won't be the same. So some things I am grateful for on a regular basis:
Mondays youngest has newspaper after school so I stay after at my school and visit with one of my best friends. Her kids are in another district now and involved in their own activities so this is one of the only opportunities I have to talk with her face to face. It is a wonderful time to share frustrations and to laugh. She is one of my only confidants and I value the 45 minutes I get to spend nearly every Monday.
Said oldest son empties the dishwasher every morning. This makes the mornings so much smoother and I don't feel like I am the hired help. It has taken a huge amount of stress out of the mornings because I am not the only one working to get us out the door. For those with younger kids, it does get easier. I am grateful for that.
Husband is done with soccer now and is home on Fridays again. After the week apart, my very most favorite moment of the entire week is that moment when we are in bed and he spoons me. I feel so safe and cared for and knowing he is there to help with life again allows me to relax and breathe. That singular moment is what I am grateful for every weekend.
I have friends who have been married about the same amount of time that hubby and I have whose marriages are ending. Not for abuse or anything horrible -- they have just grown apart. I can't imagine starting over at nearly 50 by choice. I am so grateful for my hubby and the effort and work we both put into this marriage. He is the best thing that ever happened to me. Because of him we have two amazing boys. Because of him, things in his work world and concentric circles outward have changed for the better. He is a good man and I am grateful for him every single day.
We got to spend 3 hours with my sisters and their families yesterday. We are spread out in age and personalities and after losing our parents we could have drifted apart. We don't talk often. We don't get together often. But yesterday was wonderful and I am grateful we have each other.
And as a bonus, I am grateful they have finally come to appreciate the importance of the photograph. Memories can be captured by the heart but photographic evidence is wonderful.
And lastly for today, we got an email today that we don't have subs for tomorrow so I will be filling in tomorrow. I have to cancel reading groups for my K's and 2nd graders which disappoints me, but at least I have a heads up. Usually it is a last minute scramble. So I am grateful for early warnings of schedule changes.
Hopefully I can find more to be thankful for tomorrow despite the change.
I can't promise the next days won't be the same. So some things I am grateful for on a regular basis:
Mondays youngest has newspaper after school so I stay after at my school and visit with one of my best friends. Her kids are in another district now and involved in their own activities so this is one of the only opportunities I have to talk with her face to face. It is a wonderful time to share frustrations and to laugh. She is one of my only confidants and I value the 45 minutes I get to spend nearly every Monday.
Said oldest son empties the dishwasher every morning. This makes the mornings so much smoother and I don't feel like I am the hired help. It has taken a huge amount of stress out of the mornings because I am not the only one working to get us out the door. For those with younger kids, it does get easier. I am grateful for that.
Husband is done with soccer now and is home on Fridays again. After the week apart, my very most favorite moment of the entire week is that moment when we are in bed and he spoons me. I feel so safe and cared for and knowing he is there to help with life again allows me to relax and breathe. That singular moment is what I am grateful for every weekend.
I have friends who have been married about the same amount of time that hubby and I have whose marriages are ending. Not for abuse or anything horrible -- they have just grown apart. I can't imagine starting over at nearly 50 by choice. I am so grateful for my hubby and the effort and work we both put into this marriage. He is the best thing that ever happened to me. Because of him we have two amazing boys. Because of him, things in his work world and concentric circles outward have changed for the better. He is a good man and I am grateful for him every single day.
We got to spend 3 hours with my sisters and their families yesterday. We are spread out in age and personalities and after losing our parents we could have drifted apart. We don't talk often. We don't get together often. But yesterday was wonderful and I am grateful we have each other.
And as a bonus, I am grateful they have finally come to appreciate the importance of the photograph. Memories can be captured by the heart but photographic evidence is wonderful.
And lastly for today, we got an email today that we don't have subs for tomorrow so I will be filling in tomorrow. I have to cancel reading groups for my K's and 2nd graders which disappoints me, but at least I have a heads up. Usually it is a last minute scramble. So I am grateful for early warnings of schedule changes.
Hopefully I can find more to be thankful for tomorrow despite the change.
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Thankful on the 16th
Our school has one to one technology.
In the old days (two years ago) a cancellation would mean using a built in snow day.
In the old days a two hour delay for fog would have gone to a three hour before cancelling.
Times have changed.
The district has decided they can save money by going to a cancellation if the two hour delay isn't enough. If they cancel, assistants do not get paid. Only a few food service staff get paid and not for their full hours. Bus drivers get a lesser pay. No food is used. Utilities are much less. Therefore cancellation pays off for them.
I find it a slippery slope to on-line education, but that is a topic for another day.
I don't know if it's the full moon or the predicted snow this weekend but the kids have been bonkers -- a continuation of last weeks upended scheduling craziness. So when the call for a delay came around 5, I was happy. When the cancellation call came just before 8, I was ecstatic. Even though it means the loss of a day of pay that I won't ever get back, I am thankful........for fog.
And they are predicting more for tomorrow. :-)
In the old days (two years ago) a cancellation would mean using a built in snow day.
In the old days a two hour delay for fog would have gone to a three hour before cancelling.
Times have changed.
The district has decided they can save money by going to a cancellation if the two hour delay isn't enough. If they cancel, assistants do not get paid. Only a few food service staff get paid and not for their full hours. Bus drivers get a lesser pay. No food is used. Utilities are much less. Therefore cancellation pays off for them.
I find it a slippery slope to on-line education, but that is a topic for another day.
I don't know if it's the full moon or the predicted snow this weekend but the kids have been bonkers -- a continuation of last weeks upended scheduling craziness. So when the call for a delay came around 5, I was happy. When the cancellation call came just before 8, I was ecstatic. Even though it means the loss of a day of pay that I won't ever get back, I am thankful........for fog.
And they are predicting more for tomorrow. :-)
Monday, November 14, 2016
Thankful Day 14
Today I am thankful for flights that go as planned and land safely. And I am hopeful hubby's return flight repeats this fact.
What can I say... It was a super moon Monday. :-)
What can I say... It was a super moon Monday. :-)
Sunday, November 13, 2016
Thankful Day 13
Our oldest is in college and it still takes some getting used to.
When I went to college we had a phone in our room but had to use a calling card or call collect. And the internet wasn't really a thing. Needless to say I did not have many conversations with my parents.
I told oldest I would like one proof of life text a week and he has been pretty good about it. And I have been pretty good about letting him be the one to contact me. Baby steps to independence. (just realized the irony and poignancy of that phrase. May be the seed of a poem.)
Today I am thankful for the technology that allows me to keep in touch with my kids and they with me.
When I went to college we had a phone in our room but had to use a calling card or call collect. And the internet wasn't really a thing. Needless to say I did not have many conversations with my parents.
I told oldest I would like one proof of life text a week and he has been pretty good about it. And I have been pretty good about letting him be the one to contact me. Baby steps to independence. (just realized the irony and poignancy of that phrase. May be the seed of a poem.)
Today I am thankful for the technology that allows me to keep in touch with my kids and they with me.
Friday, November 11, 2016
Thankful Day 11
Our principal is an amazing party planner and her best showcase of that talent is our annual Veterans Day program. She hand picks the kids to be in the program. She selects the songs. The music teacher and band teacher help out by practicing during class. In all, the kids put in about 12 hours of practicing over the course of 3 weeks.
And the effort shows.
We usually have members of the military there to help as well. They are members of the American Legion and family members of staff. It always brings tears to my eyes as we place our hands over our hearts for the Pledge of Allegiance and the National Anthem but they stand at attention and salute. I see the pride in them and feel it in my soul.
These military members also perform a flag folding ceremony for us. This is my favorite moment of the program. The first time we had it was about 5 years ago and it was the first time I knew that each fold had a meaning. I knew how to fold a flag but had no idea there was a meaning behind each fold --that there was a reason it looks like a triangle once it is folded.
I really listened today and took so much from it. It made me so proud to be American. Things are going to be crazy for a while. I am excited about the possibilities of a Trump presidency. But I also fear for the actions of those who aren't happy. The words of the Pledge, of the National Anthem, and the Flag folding ceremony really bring into focus all that America means -- at least to me. If you haven't seen a flag folding ceremony look one up -- or at least look up the meanings for yourself.
Three of my nephews served. Two of my brothers in law served. Several uncles and cousins have served. I am thankful for their service. I am thankful for all those who volunteer to keep us safe at the risk of their own lives. We owe them all a debt of gratitude.
So today, Veterans Day, I am truly grateful for all our veterans.
And the effort shows.
We usually have members of the military there to help as well. They are members of the American Legion and family members of staff. It always brings tears to my eyes as we place our hands over our hearts for the Pledge of Allegiance and the National Anthem but they stand at attention and salute. I see the pride in them and feel it in my soul.
These military members also perform a flag folding ceremony for us. This is my favorite moment of the program. The first time we had it was about 5 years ago and it was the first time I knew that each fold had a meaning. I knew how to fold a flag but had no idea there was a meaning behind each fold --that there was a reason it looks like a triangle once it is folded.
I really listened today and took so much from it. It made me so proud to be American. Things are going to be crazy for a while. I am excited about the possibilities of a Trump presidency. But I also fear for the actions of those who aren't happy. The words of the Pledge, of the National Anthem, and the Flag folding ceremony really bring into focus all that America means -- at least to me. If you haven't seen a flag folding ceremony look one up -- or at least look up the meanings for yourself.
Three of my nephews served. Two of my brothers in law served. Several uncles and cousins have served. I am thankful for their service. I am thankful for all those who volunteer to keep us safe at the risk of their own lives. We owe them all a debt of gratitude.
So today, Veterans Day, I am truly grateful for all our veterans.
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