Thursday, April 19, 2018

Parenting Advice

Dear Parents,

I think you love your children.

I say think, because based on the evidence: they come to school without signs of physical abuse, they seem to bathe on a semi regular basis, and they actually come to school, you could make a case that you care.

But, there is an emotional component to loving as well. When you give your child everything they want in order to avoid a temper tantrum or an argument, you are not showing love.
When you let them stay up until 10, 11, or "until they fall asleep," you are not showing love.
When they claim they "can't sleep without the TV on" so you have a TV in their room, you are not showing love.
When you allow them to talk back to you and others, you are not showing them love.
When you allow them to swear, you are not showing them love.
When you take them to movies you want to see, or let them watch movies with violence, sex, and killing, you are not showing them love.
When you allow them to make fun of others and join in the cruelty, you are not showing love.
When you swoop in to "fix," every little slight by putting your child on the pedestal of perfection, you are not showing love.
And when you have your child's nose glued to a screen so they don't bug you, you are not showing love.

Your children are a reflection of you. If you say you love your children, be more than the adult that lives with them. Be willing to do the hard things. Say, "No," more than you want to. Set limits. Teach self regulation. Teach kindness. Demand respect.     Be present.

The world you are creating right now...the world we all will have to live in... is up to you. It can be full of self centered, helpless individuals, who demand their own way (as it is now), or it can be full of people who see and do what needs to be done, not for the spotlights or applause, but for the simple reason it needed to be done.

Parents, grow up so your kids can to.

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